How many of us lived by the principle You only live once, so do not live to regret? How many of us swore to keep to that golden principle and yet how many of us have failed time and again? The worst thing a person can say to him/herself is if only I.... What's the point in regreting and thinking back when all that is done is done? I can sit here and blabber non-stop about this philosophy. And then I suddenly realised I'm talking about myself.

I regret. About a lot of things. And yes. I have indeed taken to the fact that regreting never helps. At all. Yet, who could stop feeling sorry and blaming oneself for a stupid mistake. Recently, a mistake has been haunting me.once again, it has something to do with my, well, studies again.:(..i've been so controversial nowadays. knowing exactly wat As means, knowing precisely how hard i SHOULD be working, but there's just a voice inside me, urging me to ponder wat are the truly essential stuff in life... i figured that some things may seem like the world to me now but a few minutes later, or on retrospection, it seemed so trivial... like studies... no doubt it is essential, well, at least some of it is... but then again, how do we actually live our dreams in this day and age of coporations and high expectations? of desk jobs and mundane stuff? *shrug*..

but there's no time to waste wondering abt such things i guess..ok..so even i'm forcing myself to confront the piles of readings, i'm surpise tt, i don even noe wat i'm aiming for now or rather--wat i CAN aim for now. i'm definitely not going to get wat i dream of. it's hopelessly impossible, a darn cruel reality i abruptly come to realize today. future seems to offer only 2 routes, neither of my immediate interest. n tt's provided i CAN score well for As, it would pathetically left 1 route if i cmi--n i recken tt, tt would be the most likely outcome with the lazy n indolent attitude i'm presently having n the respective rate of progress.
but tell me..where exactly am i suppose to hunt for motivation when the source is painfully--out of reach?

if only i...urgh..not again....:(