hAhA~~ cant imagine someone actually send this to my mail~~ helLo~ i'm fr wei da de ARTS fac. oKieZ~muahah..but well..as a qin fen hao xue de xue sheng~~( stoppp puking lehZ..:P)i realize i still manage to rmb 50% of Sec Chem(though it's vanishing FAST :D): tt an atom is made up of electrons, protons, n neutronS~..cations n anions~..eh~ at least i noe carbon forms the STRONGEST bond okies^^(izzit tetrahedral bonding arh?)..n AHA~ titration~~how can i every forget tt~~..kinda MISS it wor^^(like real) all the changing of colors~haha..

Subject: Chemistry at work
> > >> >
> > >> > > 1. What did one atom tell another?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > I think I lost an electron
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Are you sure?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Yes, I'm positive.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 2. A small piece of sodium which lived in a testube
> > >> > > fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame!
> > >> > > I melt whenever I see you" said the sodium. The bunsen
> > >> > > burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going
> > >> > > through".
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 4. A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender:
> > >> > > " How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and
> > >> > > says: "For you, it's no charge".
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 5. Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Because it was polar.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 6. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > A one molar solution.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 7. What do dipoles say in passing?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Have you got a moment?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 8. Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Because it's in the ground state.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 9. What do you do with a dead chemist?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Barium
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 10. What weapon can you make from the elements
> > >> > > potassium, nickel, Iodine and iron?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > A KNIFe.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 11. Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > They're cheaper than day rates.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 13. What did one titration tell the other?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Let's meet at the endpoint.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 14. Why are chemists great for solving problems?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > They have all the solutions.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 15. Do you know what happened to the chemist who was
> > >> > > reading a book about Helium?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > He just couldn't put it down.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 17. Why do chemistry professors like to teach about
> > >> > > ammonia?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Because it's basic stuff.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 18. What is a cation afraid of?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > A dogion
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 19. What did the match tell the flame?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Baby, you make me lose my head.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 22. Why did the ice cube get divorced?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > His wife said he was too cold.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 23. Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > They bonded well from the minute they met.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 24. What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Methylated spirits.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 25. If H20 is water what is H204?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 26. A psychotic chemist came home from work and had a
> > >> > > big fight with his wife. In the heat of the moment, he
> > >> > > grabbed a bottle of some lethal chemical substance and
> > >> > > forced her to drink it while he screamed: " Die Ethyl,
> > >> > > die". The wife dropped dead on the floor and the
> > >> > > neighbors who were watching the scene, decided to call
> > >> > > the police. The policemen arrived and arrested the
> > >> > > chemist. One of them asked: Was there any reason for
> > >> > > you to kill your wife? The chemist replied: " There
> > >> > > was no chemistry between us. We never bonded well
> > >> > > although we tried.In the compound where we lived, our
> > >> > > temperaments collided. She always responded negatively
> > >> > > to my comments. Our relationship was unstable. There
> > >> > > was no possible solution. She had an attitude and I
> > >> > > was explosive. Finally, I overreacted. But now I'm
> > >> > > glad it's over. I'm in equilibrium again.I will feel
> > >> > > free even behind the irons."
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 27. A group of organic molecules were having a party,
> > >> > > when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole
> > >> > > all of the guests joules.A tall, strong man, armed
> > >> > > with a machine gun came into the room and killed the
> > >> > > robbers one by one.The guests were very grateful to
> > >> > > this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He
> > >> > > replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 28. According to a chemist, why is the world so
> > >> > > diverse?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

hahaa..had a good laugh at 70% of the jokes..:)