life in uni is hectic by nature of the demanding workload. my week just passed me by without notice - partly because i have been too buried in my textbooks to differentiate night from day. while i remain convinced that i am in one of the most demanding courses in the university, i have gradually begun to accept what i'm having and have ended myself into. today is a self-enforced no-revision day:). maybe its a "burnt-out" reaction - i just could not make myself understand anything i was reading. faded was the initial obsessive drive to save my most disappointing(and sadly deserving) GPA which had seen me work non-stop in the first week of exams. Ironic it may seem, i secretly enjoys the long weeks of examinations when i can truely have some quality time with my textbooks and making real sense out of the past semester. The feeling of carrying on from where you left off exactly is almost surreal. haha. and yes, to be alone yet comfortable, away from everything...i look forward to the much-deserved breather with 3 months worth of vacation!

Academics aside, let me tune my time back to the emotionally restless night (previous post). Admist my recollections of the past, it pains me to know that of all things i have experienced, i could never live them again. life is beautiful only because you live once, for if you could repeat every experience ad infinitum you lose the most precious inherent value of existence - das schwerste gewicht, nietzche. the first fall of snow in winter. the first blooming rose in spring. the first ray of sunlight in summer. the first falling leaf in autumn. the first flight away from home. the first death of loved ones.the first crush in my teens. the first failure in my life. It is all these firsts that made me who i am. Inexplicable it may seem, this is essentially us.

It is in this silent happiness and bliss that I curiously pen this entry. (and painfully realized my no-revision day has passed. )Back to my bed and textbooks i shall go. =)