and so I am finally back, welcomed by the familiar but uncomfortable perspiration rolling down the sides of my face. much has happened for the past two weeks. Jetting between exceedingly chilly and rainy kunming, cooling guangzhou, sunny xiamen and hybrid-of-all hangzhou, It seems that the weather had been the most unkind and fluctuation is the only consistancy in the weather. As I pray for good weather, the past weeks havce seen the highest and the lowest in my mood patterns with complete unpredictability. Strange how it follows a period of peaceful serenity. Oh well.

Despite the weather, the china experience has been excessively meaningful and inspiring at times. I’m in love with the friends I’ve made, be it fellow singaporeans or the chinese. I’ve seen with my eyes of bewildered wonder, a country of amazing potential. I’ve seen for myself the strong motivation and drive for success of the chinese people. I’ve seen for myself the enormous pool of talents that dwarf our existance and how weak our education system has proved to be in blatant comparison. This is not to render the singapore education a total failure, our linguistic advantages and all-rounded education (aka CCA invovlements) with world perspectives equipped us with significant capabilities (as what we have been constantly reminded to take pride in). But seldom does the peacock in us realize the opportunity costs that inevitably follow – a relatively weaker command of both languages, a jack of all, master of none. If I may so postulate, these unavoidably resulted in the unspeakable lack of globally respected/recognized academia and a strong reliance on foreign researchers/talents. It is, of course, in the government’s policy and interest that the education system is essentially economically driven ( we do owe our tiger miracle to them) and I see a palpable similarity with the Spartan way of governing a country, more subtle certainly. While Singaporeans are blinded by our past success, the humble giant’s efforts to learn and model after thriving economies has seen its rapid improvement in just a matter of years. As Singapore prides itself in the human capital it has, what about the abundant supply of talented human capital and natural resources that larger countries have? Competitve adventage is always in comparison is it not?

It is a matter of time that the sleeping giant will overtake Singapore. I’m quite sure of it.

10 random facts/weird things or habits (since i'm innocently tagged by Mr Joel Thomas)

Rule of the game: each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own 10 weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks.

1. Give me a stool and i could isolate myself in silence for 24 hours at the age of 3 ( a phenonmenon that, i believe, resulted in the early development/retirement of my brain:p)

2. My mom was nearly on the brink of breakdown when she couldnt find me in any possible corner of the house, only to realize i'd quietly unlocked the door, CROSSED the road and ended myself in a nearby park at the age of 3

3. I have memories all the way back to 3 (as seen from above)

4. I was (and still is) constantly in my own world (as seen from above).

5. I love to play songs in repeat mode for hours and seldom get tired of it.

6. I adore the woody scent of books. Catch me flipping through the pages under my delicate nose if you can.

7. Secretly likes drawing/painting, but takes lots of will power for that very first stroke.

7. My old room key always ended up unplugged at the keyhole for the entire night. I know its whereabouts whenever i cant seem to find it.

8. When room keys advance with techonology (access cards), the problem manifested itself in a different manner: i forget to lock the door.

10. It's a miracle that i still manage to survive pretty well.

“我发现你好像真的从来不会回头的。而别人只能跟着你的步伐走。”

“是吗？”

“所以，你要不要尝试偶尔回头看看？”

“偶尔。。。回头看看？”

“对。不然你永远都在追寻，而不知道自己到底失去了什么。。”

--《海豚湾恋人》

betrayal. it's a vicious cycle. the longing to betray at our tender youth and then, at some distant future, feeling pangs of conscious. the urge to betray will be here again: to betray our own betrayal.