好久好久没有这种清幽的心情了。。竟然没有睡意，一页一页地欣赏着席慕容的诗。。好美、好动人的诗。。心上的重担卸落一地。。生命原来就是要不断地受伤和不断地复原。。世界仍然是一个温柔的诗人。。时间这样宁静、空气这样清新。。生活原来可以这么的安宁和。。。美丽。

当你沉默地离去
说过的 或没说过的话
都已忘记
我将我的哭泣也夹在
我们那时的那朵玫瑰里

也许会在多年后的
一个黄昏里
从偶然翻开的一页页的日记中落下
没有芳香 再无声息

窗外那时 也许
会正落着细细的细细的
雨

i am very caught up with the elections for Student Union for the past week( and this week as well). So didnt really have much time or the mood to blog.. =( in any case it's gonna be over soon. whether i'm gonna get elected(it's IMPT that i get elected of course!!), i'm quite glad that i went thru all the sucky process of the election champaigning and rallying itself..learnt many things..learnt that that the world is cruel..it's not abt avoiding sacrifices(other ppl, say your opponentS) anymore..it's abt how to MINIMISE the blow...coz such things are just just unavoidable, unless you are really selfless and quit the game. but well..i might not get elected coz stiff competition this year..but nevertheless one must fight on and have confidence in oneself.yeah.=)

in any case. all NBS guys and gals (if you are not from NBS have nbs frens also can)please please VOTE for yuzhe for the post of Union Representative in NBS election this thursday! thank you. =)

A 4-year-old toddler that my mom always saw at the playground in front of my block died just now.. when I woke up today, the doctors were still trying to save him.. what I heard from my mom was that he fell into a pool in a condo while trying to find his dad(who just returned from overseas) in an attempt to show him a piece of drawing he had drew in nursery that day. This happened 4 days ago. Yes he had been in the ER for 4 days. I have never seen him before because my mom is of very distant relationship with his mom..but somehow my eyes were immersed in tears when I heard about his death..i cant imagine how his parents survived the horrible 4 days, praying and praying for a miracle that proved to be impossible..perhaps they have been expecting the worst, but who has the heart to face it? And now their last desperate hope is crashed. ='( I dare not imagine how my parents would feel should an incident of such happen on me or my brother.. the thought of it makes it unbearably sorrowful. I'm crying over the loss of such an innocent fine boy...I'm crying for his parents.. I'm crying because a wave of vulnerability washed over me. death is of such close proximity to us..what if that day..the boy that death was eyeing was my brother? i guess why it hits me so badly is because death is alien to me..at least to my life..you see it everyday in newspapers and on TV, but you cant relate to those deaths. but it's a totally different thing when it happened just next to you..any time there is a tragedy, a sudden unexpected death I am once again reminded that life is so fragile, so unpredictable. we think that we have control and we have the answers. we think that we've got it all figured out, but..in reality..there is a much higher and bigger force. and that's God's plan, not ours that matters. It reminds me to focus on the present, to let the hurts and disappointments of the past slip away, and let go of the concerns and fears of the future because we don't have forever and nothing is permanent..because nobody knows if they'll get home tonight.

Right now, all I want to do is to give my family a big hug and tell them "mom, dad and silly brother, I really really love you."

我真是一个舍不得忘记的人。。。突然间领悟到我的每首诗、每幅画、每张相片并不是在经营艺术。我好像怕那些东西消失了，我要写下的、画下、拍下的其实是时间。。不知道从什么时候开始，我已经不再写流水账私的日记了，换成了秘密的模糊的文字，在一页页的稿纸上写着谁都不知道的语句。也许太想触碰到一些永恒的东西，又知道这不切实际。。我不顾一切地封闭自己。逃避已经变成一种本能的反应。因为我害怕，害怕背后的诚意在时间里消磨，逃不出时间。于是自己给自己的枷锁锁了好久。。久到忘了钥匙放在哪儿了。于是。。自己老是这样孤独又这样拥挤。。

okie it seems that lots of silly incidents are happening around me( unfortuately INVOLVING me as well-_-).

1) I took 1.5 hr travelling all the way down to NTU to realize that no one's in class today. rocks. okie. the pt is there seemed to be omens telling me NOT to go school today. but well, i was ignorant. first and foremost, i missed 174 right before me and waited a blardie 30 mins for it ( first omen telling me that i'm gonna be 1/2 hr late for class so i shd just give up). well, i was innocently STUDIOUS and decided to continue my journey to sch after some internal struggle. And coincidentally missed 179 too( 2nd omen). urg. but i was already at JP. and the bus was SO slow that i thought momentarily that i was in bangkok. ( 3rd omen) While brisk walking to the classroom, met shengjie and benedict on the way asking for directions to popular. (4th omen telling me not to go for the class). by this time i'm already 30 mins late. BUT i still insisted on going to the class. AND TATA! no one's there. not even the teacher( find "not even a single soul" unappropriate now..HAHA..) and not to forget getting bullied by shengjie and benedict for their OWN disability to find POPULAR =P. but it's stupid. so stupid. spend 1.5 hrs for NOTHING.

2) okie. decided to do something meaningful in sch to console myself( that the trip was not at all a waste of time) and was lucky to meet claire in popular. so we went to look for the golf club that we have been searching for since yesterday( but couldnt find). Guess wat. This dragon boat guy stopped us as we were walking past his booth and kept on coaxing us to go for their trial session this sat. below is the conversation:

X( the guy): hey!

claire and I: huh? yea?

X: you guys wana join DRAGON BOAT?

claire and I: (momentarily stunned) WHAT?!

X: yah! it's a very fun cca. you guys wana come to our trial session this coming sat?

claire: (wanting to laugh) erms..you mean us? as in the two of us? err i dont think we err..look..er..that erm.sporty.

X: orh it's okie! acutally anyone can join you know? and DONT worry (i'm not worrying -_-lll)it's FREE. and there will be suttle bus to send you to kallang( my goodness!). *enthu enthu*

claire and I: errrrr...(thinking that's not the point but was unwilling to be a wet blanket looking at his enthusiasim)

X: (very enthusiaticly) here's the flyer and this is the paper and pen. (taking for granted that we are putting our names down.) i really hope to see you guys there on sat. *flashing big smilie face*

me: err i'm really sorry but we have something on on this comings. (though it sounds like an excuse, but it is nevertheless the truth--> i have DnD on sat but not as if i ll go if there were none)

X: (very disappointed look) oh.... okie okie..i see...really cannot arh?..nevermind...

claire and I were thinking: we are so sorry but 1) it's a sheer mistake to look for us in the first place! 2) you didnt give us a chance to refuse you right from the start. 3)the disappointed look is seriously needed..

3) claire parked her car at a very secluded car park at CEE and got into an equally secluded lift. (destination: Cant A) we have no idea how to arrive at the corridor linking North and South Spine. So we consulted this man.

claire and I: excuse me. how can we get from this place to cant a?
man: hmmm...are you year ONEs?
claire and I :(embarrassed) errr..no..we are.......year 2s..

man: orh. from CEE?

claire and I: (thinking: do we look like?!) erm no..we are from business.

man: orh! wha..that's a world apart.

claire and I: (exchange glances thinking: that serious?)

man: you gals just follow me.

after the man disappeared ( boring part skipped)

claire to me: actually...we should have lied that we were freshmen. i think he might think that we were bimbos not knowing our way when we are already..err year 2s?!!

me to claire: oh darn! We were just too honest! urg that's so embarrassing!

and he happens to be a prof..haha..but still...DO I LOOK LIKE CEE GIRLS?! *feeling a little offended* haha! kidding! :P

This is my lao shi TIGER...(-__________-)

Tiger's spastic sarcasm:

1)yuzhe missed out certain part of the mass chat..so couldnt get a lame joke( as usual) that tiger cracked.

zhe:huh? i dont get the joke
moo en: please scroll up and read zhe
zhe: i cant scroll up when you guys are talking!
tiger: yuzhe......forget it lah.....IQ is inborn one...
zhe: ...

2)yuzhe doenst know this peson called tsse hee from moo en's batch.

zhe: shit who is tsse hee?
moo en: the Newly crowned MOE scholar hahah!
Tiger:wahlao...your memory need to upgrade!
zhe wah thx.
yiquan: 他刚签了卖身契..he was in junyuan's class
zhe: wah that's quite far..i dont know all the seniors..
Tiger:jia lart... Yuzhe is old already.... with less than 1MB of memory
zhe: dots...

Tiger trying to be NICE:

after constantly niao-ing poor me

Tiger: yuzhe is a NICE gal one... won't get angry.hor?
zhe: ...
Tiger: **tiger growls**
zhe: -______-lll okie yes i'm a nice gal
moo en: u shld know by now the tempers and habits of tiger
yiquan: yah lor
Tiger: now three against one tiger!
Tiger: **growls**
yiquan :the tiger is ferocious
moo en:so scared
yiquan:someone help.....
zhe: shivers shivers
tiger: ...

Tiger's youthful fantasy:

Tiger: MOE lets you all have the fantasy that one day Minister will remember, and work ahrd to climb high
Tiger:although the truth is that that Indian will forget you the next second
moo en: pls...fairytales are more interesting
Tiger:this is the true experience, during the NIE prize ceremony in 2002....I went up to receive the top prize of Chinese Fac NIE from Teo Chee Hean...

he says :"well done,Chun Ghee... you must have worked hard"

then 20 min later, I went up again to receive the overall top prize.

Teo Chee Hean says::"well done,Chun Ghee... you must have worked hard"then I look at him, and he says :"oh.... did you just come up before?"

zhe: hahahahah!!!

Tiger's LAMENESS:

1) Panda Ang's MSN

zhe: WAH! Ang has msn arh?
tiger: MSN messenger la..
zhe: dint expect him to have msn wat..
tiger: never mind yuzhe... she like xiya.... lives in another world.. or rrather planet
zhe: EHS
zhe: DIAOS..i poetic okie lives in another world
tiger: diao got no plural, ok?
zhe:.......................... i invent can?
tiger:can, can,... u win, u win
yiquan, moo en: ....
tiger: sorryS, canS, canS, uS winS, uS winS
zhe: ........................................
zhe: dotSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

2)NOT funny

tiger:acutally... hor... I am Mr Ang using Wanglaoshi MSN ID....hahhaaa..., bu hao xiao!
zhe: .....

3)Where is moo en?

Tiger: mu en think go toilet liao... she always half-way release pigeon one
yiquan: maybe
tiger: she must be from Li's House becos 李宅的鸽子飞到张宅去 hahaha... subei lame
zhe:hahahahha
yiquan:not funny

4)胡一刀

tiger:为什么胡斐的爸爸总是输麻将？
zhe:coz he is hu yi dao?! erms then?
tiger:ya....so clever
Tiger:so people HU tongzi, suozi.... but his father always HU YI DAO

Tiger:another stupid joke.... which Chinese surname is the most ambitious?
zhe: HU (guessing since it's on xue shan fei hu..)
Tiger:why?
zhe: errr..coz always wana hu mahjong?
Tiger:becos..... HU (who ) wants to be a millionaire!!!
zhe:...................................
Tiger:yay!
yiquan: not funny

tiger: see how I embrace Xue Shan Fei Hu as our lit text!.... I even got the stupid jokes prepared....hahhahaa


yuzhe needs a cup of warm water...it's too cold...

People who should die

There are some people whom I strongly feel should die. Not really die per se, but well...just dying as a symbol of my irritation towards them. It'll be funner to organise them into different levels of death. Get back to me on this okay? As in like whether or not some of them deserve to live or something.

1. Die a horrible death
- Claire(the scheming one who planted explosives in both M and Z group)

- CGL for making UOC 06 the worst in history. my gratitude for every possible cock ups in every possible way.

2. Die for being embarrassing, or for being such gigantic poseurs
- CP

- the whoeva who brilliantly insisted on having a military camp exclusively for treasure hunt(if it's CGL, proceed to 1.)

-shi tian yu.

-this poseur guy who shouted cheekishly and disrepectfully at the Gatekeeper me "hey gaterkeeper! are you boring?" in front of girls. By the way, it's are you BORED not boring.


3. Irritating, but probably just round these people up and let them live under a bridge or something
-the stupid ah pek who charged me $10 from NTU to west coast park while trying to be nice and educate me what an expressway is.

-this digusting uncle that spitted right in front of me on 153 today.

- all blood-suckers in NTU hall offices.

-horrendous sexually deprived uncles who cast disgusting looks on young girls in MRT.