EVENTUALLY...?

Until one morning i'll wake and find i'm thinking about something else, and then i'll know the worst is over. My heart might be bruised, but it will recover, and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more. It's happened before, it will happen again, i'm sure. When someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to arrive.

--- Paulo Coelho, "The Zahir"

i'm so sick. i just wana vanish and erase my existence.

Nouveau son - It was shiraz

First of May I met him In the town of Shiraz

Violins played away Dancing through the night

In my ears he whispered

Poems of colored passion All the rubies in the world

I would trade them for his poems

How I was mesmerized by his charm

Oceans so blue like his chentle eyes

I was in cloud nine and in heaven

But I would leave him standing by himself

Midnight bells of Shiraz Chimed as I held his hand

In his eyes he knew that I would leave

For the last time we kissed Knowing that I would leave

Like a king he graciously let go

It was in Shiraz

Midnight bells of Shiraz Chimed as I held his hand

In his eyes he knew that I would leave

For the last time we kessed Knowing that

I would leave Like a king he graciously let go

It was in Shiraz

i love this song.

flipping back 《伤心咖啡店之歌》, i'm now amazed at how apt the author is at merging all kinds of philosophies. With that, i shall say most earnestly--that 《伤心咖啡店之歌》is,essentially, Greek. I've advanced(with pride), from merely being marvelled by my virgin touch with philo (how innocent)to an amatuer able to spot certain prominent schs of philo. Pre-Socrates, Socrates(and Narcissus), Neoplatonism and even Skepticism. Liberation of the Soul ( Neoplatonism), to leave the embodied world of the senses behind so that 马蒂's emancipated spirit could achieve an esctatic union with the Divine--that's where real freedom and truth lies. “在冥想中她的意识不断扩大，扩大，扩大到弥漫充满了整个宇宙。她与宇宙等大，与她之外别无一物，连别无一物的概念都没有。于是不再因为找不到方向而彷徨，因为所有的方向都在她之内，自己就是一切的边境，所以不再有流浪。”That's the essence of the book. din comprehend the ending during the first flight with the book, the significance of mathi's death, now i see light.

Skepticism isnt at all that skeptic as it's..well name suggests. It merely suggests the only way to live a virtuous life was to dispense with philosophy altogther(ineffectively bothersome!) and stop asking such questions, as there werent any answers to them. Another enlightenment of Mathi before her momentous death. “山顶上的马蒂领悟了，生命的意义不在追求答案，答案只是另一个答案的问题，生命在于去体会与经历。”

guess i really love philo books apart from lit.that's why i love milan kundera and paulo coehlo.but great works are usually a combination of both. that's why i heart 红楼. And i'm skeptic, i mean the familiar skeptic. skeptic of all the things that we are doing or rather i'm doing for ourselves. i feel so sad looking at millions of ppl wasting most of their live, esp those most beautiful years, doing things that they find no pleasure in. some dont even realize how much they are forgoing in life even at their deathbeds.Just tell me how many accoutants LOVE their jobs you will get the pt. But then again, just like what biao quoted from huo yuan jia: 活着并不是一个人的事..we are so connected with the ppl ard us..so much so that my absolute right to do something could hurt, or even deprive others' rights. Responsibility's too hard (ethically and emotionally) to break away. Financial ability is so critical to maintain a reasonably good life. So, according to mathi, her 2nd enlightenment, what is experiencing life? experiencing such a life? is there a pt in experiencing? or is this the ultimate truth in life?

are you confused? i am. No wonder i'm not enlightened. coz im still questioning life. 因为..我是马蒂也是吉儿，是藤眺也是海安，是小叶也是素园。

掌柜的，我知道你是免费的，所以谢谢你的龙井，好香的龙井。顺便请你弹一下吉他，用你的C cord唱一下新谣。让你回顾过去，让我们陶醉今宵。

你们失望地闯进这个C cord民歌餐厅。也许是被5个自我陶醉的呆子吸引，慢慢地围过来，形成一个一点也不perfect的圆圈，随着轻轻的吉他声，也跟着哼起来。 你们让我惊觉，原来新谣不是掌柜年代的专利。我听到一个仪式的失望正在被另外一个仪式温柔地安慰着。如果说有一种莫名的心情联系着我们，应该是那份无法储存的感动吧。

深陷其中，我趁着某个不熟悉的旋律抽身离开。看着你们的样子，忍不住觉得很可爱、很幸福。一个掌柜，4个过来人，10几个可爱的老百姓，唱着同一首歌。

把房间收拾干净的感觉真好。
夜阑人静，晚风徐徐。 窗外不时传来夜归人回家的幸福，然后渐渐湮没在无尽的灯火中。 偶尔片刻的宁静显得特别珍贵。是一种让人的心慢慢地沉淀，渐渐化成冰凉又带点透明的感觉。 是一种安静得令我忍不住用心去聆听这种silence的感觉你知道吗？ 就好像回到了最初最初的世界。那个已经被大家遗忘的世界。 原来城市还能有片刻的朴素，虽然稍纵即逝。

这种时候最适合听Corrinne May 的歌了。如果能在这种情况下听是很幸福的。

很不巧，她的歌声正在我的耳边轻绕。(: