flying beijing in 4 day's time. seriously,i have absolutely NOTHING to blog abt. I just cant settle down mentally. it's great to see buddies having a clear goal ahead and one step nearer to their dreams. i do feel really happy for them.
But wat abt me...HOHOHO...wat's MY god damn dream or future or goal? YES i'm just feeling very fucked up n sickened right now at 1:20pm. This sense of complete uselessness. yes. tt's wat i'm feeling. I'm not hiding it. I'm in no mood to become a bonafide poseur. resign from telling me that sometimes when life seems to give us The Finger, it's actually a hidden blessing. It's the most ludicrous nonsense to me right now.(ok...maybe not an hr later..).Designed to flummox. Bamboozle. Confound.

urgh.I don't comprehend why at all I'm wasting so much time thinking up new ways to make myself miserable. I'm not going to give a damn if you are appalled at the sheer and absolute stupidity of me..yes..i'm absolutely PMSed like the queen mother of all menstruations is coming, but i'm not going to care. All i hope now is to rot and die. Reborn. START A NEW LIFE.

I'm not usually this angsty, I apologize.