yes..finally watched the supposedly very famous PERSONA and yes..i can hardly comprehend.. it is the most complex film i've ever came across( thx to biao)..i have NEVER felt so defeated(haha~~~;P) wang jia wei's shows seem like child's play~~~!...but the the story it tells is really quite simple. ..It's just abt this actress Elizabeth Volger has suddenly stopped speaking perhaps to cease all communication with the external world(as what the docter says). She is taken then to a hospital.. where a nurse Alma is called upon to look after her. ..After some time...the doctor feels the hospital is of little use to her and send them to her seaside home.. with nurse Alma of course..Elisabeth still remains silent....the relationship between the women seems to develop pretty fine...until one day, with too much alcohol...Alma starts to reveal her past in front of Elisabeth...it's like..she's becoming the "patient" ...spilling out the intimate details of her life while Elisabeth becomes in a sense the shrink...silently absorbing EVERYTHING.. and a some sort of "transference" takes place...it's like..after Alma discovers that Elizabeth is actually observing her and tells Others abt her past...tt's when the film became hard to follow...it's like...Alma beomes more and more insane..esp when her frustrations and cries at Elizabeth are returned with silence and SILENCE only...wah~~ i ll be equally insane if i found someone betraying me and tt person refused to answer/retort ANY of my accusations or confrontations....you know..wu2 yan2 shi4 zui4 gao1 de qing1 mie4( hong lou bi3 ji4 has thsi saying~~ i RMB!!=D)...then it got me thinking during my bus ride home...when the HORROR of me not getting any PT of the film when it just ended..cooled down and slowly drained away...maybe..it's trying to tell us how we interpret others,..how others interpret us..and the impact that these interpretations have upon both us and them...ALL the peaceful and frenly image that the director portrayed might just be from ALMA's point of view... we are looking at Elisabeth from Alma's perspective...and we interpretate the same way as SHE does...but ever since Elisabeth's letter that kind of betrayed Alma become know... the Elisabeth we "knew" is now suddenly open to different interpretations...and Alma becomes increasingly insane...until the pt tt she might be fantasising or imagining things...and there are certain parts where the images of the 2 women start to overlap...Alma talking as if she's Elizabeth...hmmm...and there are weird images popping out...and i was lost...i couldnt differentiate real vs imaginary anymore...or rather...who is WHO?!at this pt in time...i'm starting to wonder...after the drunk Alma reveals herself in front of Elizabeth... Elizabeth DID mutter something like " dont sleep on the table..go and lay down in your bed.." and when Alma questions Elizabeth abt it the next day..Elizabeth shaking her head( meaning she DIN break her SILENCE)..i was wondering y she LIED..but come to think of it..is it really tt Elizabeth said it or it's just another part of Alma's hallucination? AM I TOO...just choose to believe in WAT i perceive...i tink tt shd be the pt of the film..wat we know about each other rests largely upon what we ourselves project upon them....y Elizabeth laughs at everyone before she falls silent...and y she laughs at Alma when Alma is confronting her...i dono..the only sensible interpretation for me is that she's mocking at humans...how naive we are at believing in wateva we project on others....just how naive we are...." who actually IS the patient" kept ringing in my mind while i was watching....

but still...the beginning and the end weird collage of imagines...seem to have NO APPARENT link at all.....the image of a boy lying on the bed with another old lady/man lying on another bed with his/her hand stretchs out dripping blood( i think), making the "tick..tick..."background sound as the blood dripped into a pail of MORE BLOOD?! dont seem to make sense to me at all.... and then the boy gets up..gets down the bed and started to feel SOMETHING ( nothing..just open air.. i was wondering he might be trapped in this room bounded by tranparent glass panels...) and then...some blurred imagine(a very big one) at the "panel" he is feeling appeared..and slowly beomes clearer.....and it's an image of the face of a woman.............................HUH?!?!?!?!? i was like....wat's going on?!*scratch head* totally lost....hahaha.... i think having to follow the eng subtitles played a part for distracting me..hahahah..*trying to blame it on others* =P...

anyway...Elizabeth only said the word "nothing" towards the end of the film...tts the ONLY thing she said in the whole show...not counting the line she SEEMINLY said to Alma when ALma was drunk....rocks hor~~~-_-hahaha....anyway...high ratings for swedish films!=)

haha..you guys gave me a FRIGHT of my life ok...*freak out*( yeah right~~haha)..sooooooooo...the naughty n restless 113 finally found their way to myyyyyyyy blog( DUH~)..which is kinda in my expectation haha!.but aren't yall supposed to be busy with all the useless projects and stupid homework? tot you guys all always complaining tt yall have NO TIME for TV~~haha..caught yall red handed!=D..EH!~ how can yall blame me!!~~~~ haha..you guys were the ones who DIN bring ALL the textbooks...and BEGGED me NOT to have lesson~~(i rmb sOmEoNe tried to BRIBE me with m&M~~ eh! right! u don try to hide arh~~ haha!)..i did told yall tt you have to pay for slacking right? haha..don try to pretend yall have short-term memory ok~~=D...haha..

so guys( 1/10, 1/13, 1/9&1/12(if u guys are surfing MY blog without My permission too~~=D) HOW'S your usual mundane soporific CHI lessons going? are yall sUrViViNG them fine? yall must be longing me to go back right? -pat pat- oh~i TOTALLY understand your sentiments...HAHA! cant compare with me of course~~haha! well guys...i was expecting another day with yall(thu) but your teacher called me telling me tt she's coming back today...which really caught me unprepared...it was like..i din even get a chance to say a proper goodbye to yall.. -sighZ-..i'm not sure WHEN yall managed to locate my blog..haha..coz my net was down for weeks.. but it brought tears to my eyes*sniff*( note: an eg of exaggeration..kua1 zhang1) aftering reading ur tags..of course i CHOOSE interpretate them as hoping me to teach LONGER~~haha..=P..haiZ..tt's wat i hate abt relief teaching..it's like..when you finally started to build some rapport with your students.. then you have to go..WAT DE?!?!...exactly the same case when i got the chance to teach your direct seniors 2/9,2/10,2/12,2/13....but life's like tt las...loads of fun teaching you guys..haha..though the first lesson might be a little...awkward.. and i tend to talk to the fans,tables,walls,lockers at times..haha..but we got along well i surmise..=) anyway..if you guys find ur chi lessons really unbearable.. can try to reflect to ur teacher.. telling her wat kind of lessons yall wan..like 113 like to play games right? haha..try telling her..and she can then improvise...have to say it in a nice way of course..try not to be too obvious in hinting she's boring of course..haha...anyway..i know most of yall don like chi lessons...but no matter wad..you have to learn it..it's not the time for you guys to CHOOSE wat yall wan to study..so by hook or by crook..you have to learn.. so..dreaming abt NOT studying for it is not practical gals...wat yall can make a difference is HOW you look at the subject...u can choose..route 1: hate it and find it a chore studying it for 4 whole years... or 2: try ur best to like the subject...or at least try to APPRECIATE the subject...tt would make ur studying of the subject a more enjoyable experience...=) which route yall wana take depends on you~...at least tt's my method of studying las...always try to find joy in wateva you study...=)

ORH! this has happened many times..but still...i cant rmb many of yall faces...i've only seen you guys for like...less than 1 week..*phew* (haha! kidding) it's not easy on my part to rmb ALL your faces~~let alone names...those sitting in front..of course i can rmb..but those hiding in the corners writing letters...doing MATH...doing GEO...cant c your faces sia...haha...so cant really rmb...so when yall c me in the streets...or in rgs weeks later( if i'm called to teach again...but probably not yall..) do wave to me ok! don pretend yall dono ME~~~~*yuzhe with a knife in her hands* hahah!.. i might not rmb you but... at least i would know tt i have taught yall before...haha...ok loads of crap...

enjoy ya years in RGS...enjoy your CHINESE lessons( ok...somehow i sound kinda spastic urh? haha=D)...enjoy each and every day you spend with your frens...and most imptly...learn to accept others as they are...and willing to accept different/weird/strange thinkings....and lastly...DARE TO BE DIFFERENT....haha...gosh...i sound really like a teacher...cant believe i'm blogging this..wad de?! haha...but arh...these are my lAsT wOrDs for you guys(last words all sound like this...)..take care ya? =)

orh...feel free to bitch abt wateva things yall wan to bitch abt to me las(if yall have ANY~~~=P)(k..this time i sound like a counsellor...=D)

heyoZ~~ i cant post anything at home nowZ..totally out of civilisation!!! walao...no internet at home life's so SIANZ....anyway..just wana announce tt i'm CURRENTLY still ALIVE and KICKING....don worry~~~hahha...=P...ok...nothing much to say nowZ..my life isnt very interesting...she4 hui4 de4 ji4 shen1 cong2..hahaha! slack life lah...ok...sianZ yuzhe signing off...........

SIS CLAN! yeahs! ^^V..thx chyi for the sweet letter=)..i love this drawing manZ~~..damn cute! haha...(pls note kan's expression~~hahah! darn funny!)=P 

my 2/13...=) cant load the pic yesterday...so i try to add on nowZ las...=)... 

2/13..one of my class...heehee..sweet and active gals...very nice...they are the naughty ones who anyhow said OTHER's names during self intro..(-_-lll) finally knew the reason behind their gigglings hahha!...this is just half of the ppl las..still got 2nd page..but lazy to upload..they are very cute you know...got 2 gals asking me where i bought my jeans( hangten anyway..) and the 1st gal in the list oso said.."老师。。你的鞋很好看!你自己画的吗？”haha...an elddfs gal..still have 209 210 212...all nice gals..nice gals...heehee...it's such a good feeling to have your students waving at me in canteen today...hahha..but i was like..."do i know you?" coz i cant rmb everyone's face mah! and they went "i'm fr 209,she's fr 210..she's fr 212...blah blah.."hahaha...all my gals les!=P another gal also waved cheerfully at me at the bus stop today...note..cHeErfUlLy not fu1 yan3 one hor! =Panyway...showed them huang cheng hua xu and orientation thingy...they were super amused and entertained..so much laughter..for 210 and 212...i was like"ok...nothing to do now...free time! yall can do your own work! but i'm gonig to show 一起分开住..if yall are interested or feels tired while doing your work..just look up and take a look las..."and to my pleasant surprise...many actually continue to WATCH attentively=)...213 really touched me when some of them actually clapped after they watched the huang cheng hua xu=)..i was like "huh? y yall clap?" then they say..coz it's good mah...very touching..and yes...tt made me really touched=) to all my 4 classes thx so much~~~love yall....=) though it's like...only 4 days...and i DIn even get to know yall personally...haiZ...OH anyway! there's this gal in 212...she's jie han's( the big slacker in hist class..=P) sis! oh my!! haha...no wonder she looks familiar to me!

my damn slack time table...my lessons are the time slots above the CLASSES....zoom in to the DUMBEST thu and SLACKEST fri pls...take note of the GAP btw the 1st lesson and the 2nd lesson on thu...(-_-lll) and the NO. of lessons on fri and its TIMING...brilliant les..haha...a round of applause for me pls for being able to slack for 4.5 HR!!!! nearly turn into a stone...but well...i ended up eating again...2 pork dumplings..1 cha siew bao..1 clover choco cake and a strawberry ice-cream cone...gosh...glutton.

don say i ANYHOW complain abt how SQUEEZY the staff room IS ok....hahaha....C for yourself~~~=D 

teacher yuzhe's table~~hahah..the place tt i have stoned my hrs away for 4 whole days... 

an evidence of my presence in rgs..hahaha..the security uncle don allow me to take photos...say wat tOp secret...tOp my HEAD -_-..the more he said so the MORe i wan to take...haha..but it's a pity i din get to take with my gals...:S 

ok...3rd day....it's getting better for some of the other classes...i mean..when i started to tell them abt some "weird"frens of mine...and their life...abt HOW they changed me...they were actually interested! haha..at least they LOOKed interested..and well amused at those stories?! tt i dono..haha..but it's really xing wei to find 2/12 actually showed some interest...the 1st day of teaching was rather daunting..coz they looked...haha..scary and dao :S..some if them...:P..but studious heehee...so making them paying attention to wat i was saying was....WHAO....i just dono how to pen down the feeling manZ! =)....2/9..as usual..restless...but somehow abnormally a little more quiet than usual...haha! i think it was coz of the PE lesson...=P..but felt pretty guilty coz was REALLY slack during their class...well..actually planned to go thru the worksheet i gave them yesterday( the pt is they are the ONLy class without tt worksheet...other classes already DONE it...funny...and i only manage to find their worksheets yesterday...) but they haven do( can understand las...coz i din make myself clear tt they have to finish it by TODAY....so it's kinda my fault..:S)....and just as i realized tt they actually have to do their workbook exercises....one teacher suddenly throwed this pile of si1 han2 on my table asking the students to do...but she din tell me WHEN they have to finish it...good les..nothing much i can do for the rest of the lesson! (new lesson=new worksheet=more work=cannot finish..)disrupted my plans~~~

anyway...tmr shd be my LAST day if nothing happens...hmmmm...well...i ll miss my students..it's such a PITY tt i don have more time to get to know them better...HAIZ...i don even actually KNOW their names....only their faces(some only to be exact..:S)...ll they miss me? hahaa...=P..i hope so...hahaha!going to show them huang cheng hua1 xu4 and HC orientation tmr...ok...you are asking me wat's the link right...but seriously...i cant continue the lesson coz its only tmr tt i'm going to give them worksheets for the new passage...which means i can finish the present passage in half an hr..den wat can i do for the rest of the lesson? hahaa...tt's y im showing las...pls the huang cheng part..just treat it as part of the promoting CHI campaign las..hahha..orientation? well...making them look forward to JC life? haha...but they are really not just sec 2....hahahas...

1st day of teaching..rubbish manZ..haha...don even know wat's going on! tt's my consequence of being lazy to think abt wat to say for the 1st day..haha..and guess wat...i tot i ll be briefed abt wat to do in class...BUT NO! i went dere like a blur blur sec 1 inside..( but outside gek kiang las..=D) and TADAh! 1st lesson is MY lesson...great..the 1st thing i realized is tt i nearly wanted to *faint*..haha..but well... i wanted to laugh out more actually...found it rather retarded and hilarious.. i mean hELLO?! how many RT have their very 1st lesson in their life the VERY minute they stepped into the sch without ANY preparation?! haha!

but well well..relief teaching is unexpectedly smooth=)..i mean..not as if i'm expecting them to fight in class or wat..but i was really pretty worried abt HOW am i suppose to conduct an 1 hr lesson and talking non stop?!?! come on..the thought of 30 over gals staring at you izznt a nice feeling okay..esp when you dono WAT to say..haha..but yes..as the normal slack me..din bother too much..as usual having the 'everything ll turn out fine'mindset..haha..and TADAH!i managed to pull thru~~..haha pull thru iznt the word to use..coz i'm actually enjoying myself..seriously..no joking~~~=)..my classes are simply great..and personally..i like 209 among all las.. coz it's my 1st class i surmise..having my di4 yi1 ci4 les~~~ haha!dono..just like them=) but super restless..if only they can be just a LITTLE LESS tAlkaTivE..haha!..-sSh- ..later they hao lian~~=P..the class is NOISY..yes..much more active and noisy than other classes...but they are the class with lots of qns..gu3 ling2 jing1 guai4..and they are AS SLACK AS ME haha..just like my sec 3/4 class in the good old days..oh well anyway..the other classes are not bad either...tend to be more industrious(it's good of course..heehee)..WAH studious bunch you know..those independent learners kind..always doing their hm..haha...asking me abt meanings in words..yes...ideal class tt normal teachers ll dream for..but well...they can be REALLY noisy..when indulged in their little gal's talks..den suddenly laughed their heads off..?!?!?!leaving me down dere (o_O)..eh..got jokes share with me ll DIE arh..haha..not sure y but they somehow reminds me of 4/9 tt kind of class...it's like..if you DOn teach properly ll dui4 bu4 qi3 ta men but they are obviously not interested in chi but really studious coz wana get an A1 type...until tt i have to think TWICe abt toking cock with them and sharing some poems or songs with them...at least for 209..they are yes..not interested in chi..but it's fun to tok 'rubbish'with them...if they complain tt i'm NOT doing my job of teaching CHI how?:s some of them have the.."y are you telling me this irrelevent stuff?"face.. but don care...im still going to share some nice little poems with them...really hope they can appreciate and look at those poems in a LIT way and not the "WAH CHI POEMS~~CHEEM and CHEENA" way...and please don give me the "y cant you focus on chi text and teach us? but then again chi text is SO boring"look?

ok. frankly..i'm totally unsure of HOW to teach ci yu in an interesting way...judging from my very own experience...as i had told them...i was even WORSE then them in sec sch..doesn't give a DAMN to chi lessons..coz hello?! not as if the ci yus are difficult loh..and the text can be really boring at times..i spend most of my lessons reading my own books..little gal's lame talks..passing msgs and writing letters..yes..exactly wat they are doing right now..and those teachers tt caught my attention were those telling me things outside of classroom...not pertaining to the text..something abt their amusing lifestories /other's lifestories...so tt's wat i'm doing now actually..but then again..tt's not TEACHING right? hmmm....but well....if i can ever manage to make them like me and realize tt CHI maynot necessarily be so sian....it's already an achievement right? but the latter one is hard las...:S...

but still...thank god for giving these wonderful classes...naughty but wonderful=) they made my day...=)..

oh anyway...i've realized how RIDICULOUs tt i have been dressing for these two days..haha...wearing jeans..my nike sneakers...my pretty pretty bata shoes...not those super matured tops..and roam abt in RGS like nobody's business..haha! but when i went back to HC today...met up with yi rui...and we both looked at the way we dress....both got a nice shock...haha! yirui wore HEELS les! and those super mature top tt everyone can guess tt she's a teacher.. contrasting with wat ms how termed as "PE TEACHER"( tt's when i told her i'm TEACHING and shewas like.."how can you go to sch in this?!")me..(-_-lll) and sorry mdm YEO...she nearly got a heart attack when cing me in this outfit saying i'm relief teaching nowZ...hahah! the soft soft delicate mdm yeo...she poor thing las..i have been giving her soo much trouble in class and the 1st meet up ( unexpected one) came as a shock..hahah! you must c her face man! ms how was like laughing like mad when dear mdm yeo gave me nice yu3 zhong4 xin1 chang2 lecture( not math lec for once~~=P)abt me shdn't dress like this....but well..at the end of the day..WHO CARES...no one in rg actually commented me abt my "unteacher-like"dressing..NOT even the principal...haha...

anyway...it's kinda weird to have students bowing to you when you walk pass you know...hahaha...i rmb the 1st day i was like thinking to myself "heh? got teacher behind arh?"and turn ard and look..and suddenly realize tt im actually the ONE they are bowing to...haha...

yah lar!! i totally agree with xiya!...there's this couple right...i was chiong like the latest model of bullet train with 1 plate of desert and 2 drinks and fork n spoons..den they asked me to take orders...fine...i went over..DEN the blardie man really is needed to START asking the woman.."eh..so wat you wan?.."den indulge in their stupid small conversation..totally forgot abt my presence..when i asked.."yes sir..wat do you want?"..the reply was"you wait arh"...?!?!?!...pls..there were like...3 more tables waving at me to take orders!...i was SO PISSED off ok...somemore they are not even paying any service CHARGE...i just left them for other tables...who cares man..haha..and guess wat..after finishing the 3 other orders..and came back to them...DEN they had just made up their mind..WAT DE?!?! den call me so early for wAT?! they think the whole world revolves around them arh?

there's this gang of irritating women in their mid 20s...super niao..forever adding on to their orders! initially they wan 3 mango sago( 5 ppl somemore..)...den after tt...dono for wat stupid reason..they keep on adding their orders..."can i have another mango sago?"... after a 15 mins.."can i have another mango sago?"...after ANOTHER 15 mins.."can i have ANOTHER mango sago?".."this mango ice-cream is is sorbet or not? i wan to know got milk inside or not..can you ask the chef?"( the chef has 30 over orders to do and really ll chap me if i ask las! wad the hell..somemore it's obvious tt it isn't SORBET wat..if sorbet ll write sorbet wat? write ice-cream for wat?..the worst is after i confirmed it's NOT a sorbet..they went.."oh den i don wan liao.." i was like..~!@@##$$).."can you give me an ash tray?"...."why is it taking SO LONG?"wat's their prob?! just order 6 mango sagos in a goal very difficult izzit?! wan ash tray SAY earlier ll die arh? mouth ll rot arh? really must make me run to their tables 5 or 6 times les..they relaly very hao yi si leh..they think i'm their personal servant arh? wanted desperately to slap them...

then....this borliao couple( couple again...hate couples..)..super mafan oso..walao..singaporeans really mafan to serve..super demanding..take ppl for granted..really must 2 ppl only share a puny bowl of mango sago..-_-..somemore DIE DIE wan to seat at those sofa seats...finish already don wan to zhao( so many ppl waiting to get a seat..)..used 30 mins scrutinizing the menu from top to bottom..somemore went over to the bar to poke her head here and there..blocking our way..-_-lll..tt's not the end..after MUCH discussion and EVALUATION and ANALYse..they finally decided to call the waitress..( poor me)..so i went over and throw them a really polite smile( pro ok) and said.."yes? can i help you?" and wat they said nearly made me puke blood.."oh..can i have the mango combo but the mango icecream change to sesame one?" den i was like..sorry...don have this combi..coz the price very hard to gauge..y not you try the black and white combo( coconut and sesame icecream) but they refuse to lsiten to me les!..kept on asking..."den i order mango pudding the coconut ice cream change to sesame? "..eh..mister and miss...ear got prob izzit? say already cannot change already wat?! den they die die don wan to believe me..insisted me to ask the chef..fine las..i go ask..and of course kena rejested..retarded los..some ppl jsut like to duo ci yi ju..den in the end you knwo wat? they called one of the boss to add a tiny scope of sesame ice-cream to their mango pudding..paying an additional $2..mad las..totally brainless...den somemore eating already still called me to ask..'' the pudding has XXXXX in it or not?"(XXXX--some bio term..which means something tt vegetarian cannot eat..i don even know wat it means las!) den i was like HUH? and they spend 5 mins trying to explain wat it is( do i look like i care?!) and asked me the pudding has this ingredient or not...EH...i MAKE ALL THOSE PUDDINGS les..den they insisted( again-_-) me to ask the chef..fine..i go ask again..and of course the chef oso dono las!( partly oso don understand..like he made those puddings liddat..walao..puddings really not factory made las!)..den i went back telling them they oso dono...but purely fruits shd be ok... den dey said.."but you know..usually puddings ll have XXXX in them to make them stick together.." thx! you know den you still ask?! den you still eat?! den you DON eat las! eat alreadly still must ask so much? !@#$$%%

other irritating customers:
1) "i wan a mango sago having here..and 2 mango pudding take away..but the take away put in 2 SEPARATE bags..and can yall do the take away AFTER i finish the mango sago?" i wanted to say you go n die las...you think this shop you open one arh? must wait until you finish den made another one.. somemore 2 diff bags..self centred singaporeans los!

2)these ppl...super not obervant....dono wat's their eyes for...ming ming walk in from the main extrance where the cashier is..then when they wan to pay..dono y come to the bar...saying..i wan to pay...(-_-lll)..den must direct them..sorry ..the cashier is OVER THERE...den they ll be like"how come casheir at the entrance?"HELLO? cashier not at the extrance den where you tell me?! the shou ying ji so big oso never c....

3)in their dreams thinking tt they had paid me service charge..i chiong here chiong dere until no direction sense already..den they waved at me..walked over and asked them yes? den they gave me da4 kuan3 look and say"oh~bill please~~?" EH! like not obvious every customer ownself walked over by THEMSELVES to the cashier to pay les!...they use their toes to think oso ll know we really got time to attend to them las! really is not 3 waitress...xiya at cashier..yit jing doing bar thingy..den i deliver the deserts..really got time to help them take their bill to the cashier outside and walk them telling them how much den take their $ there and come back again give the change les...EH!but tt time all the deserts pile up like mt himalayas liao..-_- dman irritating los!...

4)sofa freaks..very POOR ppl living in poverty with NO sofas at home...really is not full house liaio..finally got a seat still not satisfied..saw an empty sofa seat den "WAH!! got sofa seat down dere!! lets go there!!"..NV sit in sofa before izzit? and like 5 ppl want to squeeze in 2 armchairs...how are you doing to squeeze you tell me??!!?!? somemore..take orders already...already recorded down their table no..den suddenly change still have to chiong to the bar to change their no..SIAN los! wan to sit in sofa go home sit until you sian cannot arh? childish (-_-lll)..i mean..no ppl then you sit den ok las..but so many ppl waiting for seats you still chiong like..if never sit there ll lugy and ass ll rot liddat..(-_-lll).. and some ppl...again self centred..change table...FINE..at least tell me can?! no les! they nv! when i deliver the deserts den find the whole table empty i nearly wan to faint ok~~~ like where to look for them?! walao..20 over tables where they moved to? these ppl..either assume tt we the waitress have 500Mb of brain power to rmb their face or all thinking they are yan daos and chio bus and models tt i c ll catch my attention...-_-lll sorry los..far from it..go home ownself look at mirror...i shall not elaborate...*roll eyes*

and of course...those tt xiya mentioned i'm really gan2 tong2 shen1 shou4~~~~...T_T..a lot of ppl just DON HAVE zhi4 zhi1 zhi1 ming2 at all! i was pretty niao too las..haha..coz it was way too busy..so i tend to speak really fast while answering their qns..like.."sorryG1andthewholeofsnacksnotavalibleandfordrinksE14TOE19arealsonotavalible."and the customers ll go "orh..can i have E18 den?"...i got sian las..and pekchey..and yes..as the sarcastic me..i purposely went EXTRA slow and repeat "s-o-r-r-y, E-1-4 T-O E-1-9 a-r-e n-o-t a-v-a-i-l-a-b-l-e"...haha..
hahaa..but ok...tt's was my last day...i quit the job liao...today slacking at home..tmr going rgs RT already..good...they never even tell me wat to do tmr....:S..i won really miss the place tt much...but i ll miss the ppl dere( selectively..haha!) yit jing..the dear dear dear round round chen shi fu...and the retarded looking boss..and syl( he kena fired yesterday coz of some stupid reason...quite bu zhi for him..) so sad you know..wont get the chance to see him anymore i guess...din even get to take a pic of him...:S..i ll miss yit jing's really niao and funny jokes..and syl's constanly blur and funny( but not purposely) actions...

当灵魂污浊到一定程度的时候，或许是另一种纯洁?

she is supposed to besome model i guess..but i drew until pekchey den anyhow draw on my own..haha 

something i drew rather long ago...:) 

chyi just called me...she sounded SO tired..:S..hope she ll survive her work...n i realized i'm missing lots of ppl...or rather..i'm missing sch badly..i could no longer take it for granted tt i would be able to *hug* chyi n baobei..niao kan:D and laugh at jingshi everyday like i used to be..and toking cock with ppl like biao when i see them...haiZ...really hope i can c you guys more often:)..and yes..i might be going to rgs to teach...i dono whether i'm making a correct choice..but i know i see no point in doing my current job for the next few mths when the ppl there are most prob. quiting.. they are the driving force for me to work..i was pretty doubtful at first too..but but but...i dono...it seems to be like..even god knows i'm deperate for money...there have been opportunities falling from the sky these days... from the 1st job tt i was admitted to which offers me $1200..to the Times Mag. calling me asking me to do full time sales job with $1400 and right now tiger's rgs relief teach...i had rejected so many of them.. yes...i know i'm dumb...but when tiger's msg reached me..i couldn't help but wonder are these offers from god or wat...it's really a "the whole world conspires to help you achieve it"kind of feel...n i since then..i don c the pt of me rejecting...i know i might sound dumb..but i just got this instinct tt i shouldn't let another chance just slip by my toes AGAIN...:S...haiZ..it's never easy to choose.....

hEy yOhz~~ wah...today i peel grapefruit peel until i -_-...a whole BOX ok!!!finally understood Syl's tong ku job...:P..hahaha..really is cannot c an end to it liddat..haha..but qutie slack las..no need to think one..just keep on doing..den slack slack den c hua jie den gek concentrating:P..haha! but the Chen Shi Fu very nice..use his phone to play songs for me :)..den his phone got record Hao Xin Fen Shou...haha..the ONLY canto song i knew in his phone..den he KEPT on playing it coz he knew i kind of like it:)heehee...and yes..hua jie is getting nicer oso..haha..so i shall not bitch tooo much abt her las...but it's also coz i can sort of understand wat she's saying..her instructions are never easy to understand...:S..haha..but i like to serve Japanese!! coz they are SUper nice...super POLITE!! making you feel really appreciated! haha..not like some NIAO women who don even know how to smile and say THANK YOU~~:S..those JP arh~~ everytime oso "arigato"..until dono who's the waitress liddat~~~:P..those angmohs oso quite nice:)..except for some..hahah...yit jing dio this SUPER disgusting angmoh on the first day of his work( his first customer somemore..haha!) he got a FEIRCE KBing fr tt angmoh coz some of the things tt he ordered were not avaliable(don have is HIS fault les..dots los..)...very poor thing...haha..and ever sicne then..whenever he sees some angmoh..den he ll whisper to me "eh..angmoh phobia.."hahahah! and i observed tt whenever i ask/say something to syl...he ll always start his first sentence with "bu dong leh.."hahaha!

anyway..thx tiger a lot les!!!! help me n mel settle our BEI DA application thingy~~ãnd treated us to lunch!!! :)...but actually is coz ying yi they all came back..so we went to lunch together n tiger SHUN BIAN treated us~~hahaha...thai ice tea n tom yam n chicken wing!!^^V...tt's my nicest lunch for nearly 2 wks!!!:)..but anyway i think i must have been looking really POOR~~~...keep on skipping lunches n dinners..coz don wan to waste time eat...haiZ...all for my beida...earning my OWN allowance in beijing watZ...sometimes..i ponder...y the hell am i tiring myself out just to go overseas to study? i mean...if i choose to stay in spore..den i don have to skip dinners to earn more..don have to give tuitions de very next morning after knocking off at 10 plus 11pm the night before and chiong to work again after the tuition..and still trying to find MORE tuitions...and i have to study for the entrance exam starting from next yr...i really dono how am i suppose to guggle btw all these...don even feel like thinking abt it..:S..but well...i know what i'm doing.. i know i'm the one who choosed this path....i just have to bear with it...haiz..

but oh wells...i gtg to mark this chi essay written by my student...very diff to mark..coz super broken chi...her tuition tmr morning...somemore gotta work fr 1 30 to 11 30pm..hope i won drop dead...hahhas...:P..anyway..ppl~~~if yall got some hao jie shao for tuition....tell me ok!!:) thx thx!

yes.i'm finally updating about my happening life~~~hahaha...i really love the ppl there!!! hahaha...well..they are(pls refer to xiya's blog) really VERY funny!..hahaha..damn helpful:)..haha..we are pretty close las:)..coz..haha..6 ppl only..how distant can you get? :P..i like to tease syl a lot( for your info xiya..he's called EDWIN..but who cares~~~i'm called "hwa chong"okieZ..hahah)..well...how funny they are....have to tell yall in person~~hahah!! it's going to be damn long if i list them down...:P

oh wells...now to de BITCHING n KBing part....there's this woman..darn irritating..making me feel like slapping her...talking to her makes me feel like HELL...ok..not TT bad..but usually..COZ she's DARN disorganized n like to put the blame on OTHERS..it's like...till now..we STILL don have a fixed time of work..it's like..i'm part time las..but i worked MORE than full timers la~~wat de hell!..i tot part timers shd have more freedom..ok..tt's not the main pt...the pt is...she's DAMN clever to open the shop at 5pm(well the rest have to report on 6...so you tot the shop ll open at 6 or slightly after right?) on Xmas Eve..when there's only me n xiya dere(well syl was washing plates n cutting fruits)...HELLO?!?!?! there are 18 tables!! n one of us has to be the cashier...so i was one left (plus tt woman) to handle the sudden gush of tables of PPL~~~...i felt GOOD les..when that was my FIRST time doing...she's the woman with the LEAST amt of BRAIN i've ever seen~~~-_-..hello...not as if she din expect a lot of ppl..

den...tt's still not TT bad...she's disorganized..fine...cant blame her las...limtied brain cell wat to do...but she's always SCOLDING ppl for NO reason?! or scolding ppl for HER mistakes...thx! like...she's kangjiong abt the orders..coz she cant handle them...but she kept blaming us for NOT being able to handle...ok fine...i admit tt we were a little confused too..but hey~~~she was scolding us for taking down some orders which are still not available....ok...if she had told us EARLIER tt those stuff were not available..den it would be OUR fault..but she DIN!! the day before she as still saying those things ARE available...hello?! yes les...our fault les~~~-_-...tt's not the end...when she saw our orders wrongly....it's OUR fault too...i took down this order: E11) a very nice E)...n basically she tot it was F11...n of course...gave the wrong product to the customer...n den..she started to blame ME..."刚才你明明写的是F!"..OK FINE..my FAULT...i went over and CHANGED it so tt i can get a scolding from you can? !@#$%~

she told us before tt custormers are ALWAYS right...NV to agitate customers...n yes...shé is such a FABULOUS eg. tt i don think i can ever manage to follow...there's this gang of guys...waiting for their mango pudding( they had waited for really long) n was like asking me wat's going on...so i went to the bar trying to help them check the orders...but tt blardie woman just PUSHED me away fr the bar when i told her "hua jie...table 9 still haven gotten their mango pudding yet"...n she went "don care abt them! i dono...don come n irritate me.. i'm busy!Go away!"...HELLO?!?! let's forget abt her rudeness first..but HELLO?! is this HOW you shd treat your customer?! and....how am i suppose to ans them? "sorry...my boss says DON CARE?"...so i was like telling them "sorry..it ll be here in a moment..really sorry..."...so i went 3 times to the bar trying to tell HER to tell the chief to make their mango pudding...n everytime she SHOOed me away...the guys were nice enough to me..coz i looked quite pathetic...guessed they saw me trying to help them but got rejected..so for the last time i went back to tell them...i had to admit "sorry....i'm not sure..coz the boss.."i din even finish my sentence n one of the guys..who was still smiling at me saying "ít's ok"suddenly turned really black n shot up fr his chair n chiong to tt woman...leaving me (T_T) ...nearly wanted to cry...but the other guys where like consoling...."don worry...it's ok...don be scared.."...i dono how wat happened later...but heard everything's settled.. heard fr derren that tt table( i think) even asked him whether we want them to write a complain letter( to complain her of course) or not....so...you get the pt...

n yes....she scolded me for things tt i din even know i'm not supposed to do so...like..i din know the order they look at the orders at the bar..so i was trying to squeeze one in a line when it was already full...n she DIN tell me not to do so..well...i guessed she prob scolded others for tt mistake of mine... but i wasnt there..n the 2nd i time i did tt...she roared at me.."i TOLD YOU NOT TO DO TT! Y CANT YOU LISTEN?!" i was like...since when did you tell me tt?!?!

i think she don like me..when xiya( the cashier) don have enough small change for customers....i rushed to the bar to helped her to tell tt woman abt it...xiya was quite kang jiong....coz EH~~~ tell me how you settle the bill like this?! so i was like.."hua jie...xiya don have change already. how?"n guess wat? she gave me a why- are-you-so-irritating look plus rolling her eyes at me n ignored me!..HEY?! TA MA DE! who are you to give me tt look?! who do you think you arh? a blardie old women who has NOTHING more then me other than experience?! n WAT ABT XIYA?!?! let her die there izzit? n the most infuriating thing is tt i told another guy to help me tell her...n she LISTENED. WAD THE heCK?!

wat angered me most wat her comment"i knew you young ppl have no brains"when she was muttering to herself..EH! if i'm considered NO brains...there must be something SERIOUSLY wrong with singapore's edu system then! we were all like trying to clean her ass...n she was neither grateful or appreciative....

she's the FIRST person tt i REALLY feel like bitching ok!...goodness! how she managed to be a manager?! ok...she's alright when she's not under stress...but the pt is...disorganized+cannot cope with stress=worst results...but well...it's ok...it's always OUR fault tt she's disorganized...-_-...i dono wat's wrong with her....she behaves like an lao chu nv...always agitated over nothing in particular.. super unreasonable MOST of the time...ahuh! i rmb today while she was arranging n fixing a table which was a little shaky ..i wanted to help her push the table to the side..coz i know she din realize tt putting tt table tt way was blocking tt way...but she was irritated again "y are you here? go away...cant you c i doing it?"( meaning...i don need you to help me..go away!)..i was like...ok fine...like i wan to help YOU...n sure enough..i found the table right in the middle blocking the way...wonder wat's her IQ..prob 0....EQ..well...negative....

haiZ...sorry...so much of kbing...you guys must be more interested in the better part...well...i would say...i really like my job...i wan to stay all coz of tt ppl ard me...if only she werent there....

heard tt she ll be going back to HK...good..cant wait to celebrate her leaving...haiZ...but thx to her...i learnt more abt tolerance..and everything..coping with such irritating supervisors...i had my share of experience...也算是一种成长吧。。i'm really quite amazed by myself not to fan1 lian3 with her YEt haha..given my huo3 bao4 character....:)

but i still have to say...i really wan to go back to tt place before she goes away...n DEMAND her to SERVE me...at the same time giving very NIAO orders with my LOUSIEST atttitude EVER....n make sure tt she's WRONG even if she's CORRECT...

but thx kan for coming twice:)...once alone...and once with da shao~~~hahahah:) but really is not left a lot of rubbish for me to clean! bleahZ~~~~ i was cursing while cleaning when i realized it was THEIR table~~~hahaha! eh...got Mcdonalds' somemore los! hahaah!

haha~~~~ yes...my collegues are nice ppl~:)..hahah...though i kind of got "bullied"by them..:) but they are really frenly:)...so plus xiya...there are supposed to be 6 of us:)..and they are ALREADY giving each of us nick names....and well...they are REALLY amazed by the fact tt i came fr HC..and my Os results( they kind of guessed i'm fr HC..ok las...i have the CHEENA face cans?! hahahah:D)

well...so this is how i got "teased" by them..haha..more of joking las:P:
1) when we had to loiter fr 1 to 4.... they were like asking me..SO WAT are you hobbies? READING n STUDYING arh?( thx~~~~ maybe i'm not slack in HC las...-_-)..when i gave the -_- face..they went...but those 8 pters in our sch always say their hobbies are reading studying n reading textbooks...i even more -_-

2) so wat do you do during free time? STUDY arh? ( again~~~hahaha!)

3) we going to play pool...you come with us las..Eh gotta ask they have have BOARDGAMES or not ...eh later arh..when 2 of us playing arh...the third one play MONOPOLY with you las..( the the other guy said) eh don lidadt las( like quite KE LIAN me...but later he went..) ..snake and ladder better ...~WAH THX LES!!! hahahaha....i was like...you all say somemore i KICK YOUR BUTT! hahaahh!

4) they think my name's too cheem n very hard to memo...so this guy call Daren n his fren started calling me "eh Hwa Chong"thx~~~again...-_-

5) when we were exchanging hp nos right...they wanted to use hwa chong as my nick...THX AGAIN~~den i OBJECT of course~~~~hahaahahha!!! then this guy...Daren's fren...cant rmb his name though he everytime "tease" me hahaha!...n he went..ok las...den you choose lah..either hwa chong..6 pter..or manager( another long story quite diff to explain..)..n i went -_-..hhaahah

but oh wells...today's pretty happening:)...went to lucky plaza watching them play pool~~~WAH SEH! they are qiang las!! esp the sylvester-look-alike Edwin~~i was like speechless...they must be REALLY good in angles n reflection thingy in physics~~~~hhaha...they asked me to try las..i really wan..hahhaah...they surely will puke blood..my ball can jump one...Oops...hahah

the HK "secret society lao da" i mentioned heehee... he's quite ncie to me...maybe ke lian me coz im the only gal mahs~~ hahahaha....but told you his guo yu limited...but we chicken tok with duck for quite long you know~~ hahaha..but couldn't get thru more den 5 sentences...i was like constantly going huh? HUH? huh? HUH? huh?!?!?!??! YOU means this this this arh? huH? no? den? that taht that arh? huh? still not? den?!?!!? hahaahaha....so he's trying VERY hard to say in GUO yu...which doens't sound like GUO yu at ALL...hahah...n i'm very painsteaking trying to figure out...though it's always wrong~~~hahahaha...:Psorry for the lousy grammer...lazy to change...

hmmm..going work in 1 hrs' time...atually havn start yet las... the rest. still under renovation..it ll officially be open on WED i heard:)..so i'm actually going for some sort of training..or rather lecture..-_-..well...i shdn't complain coz the ppl there are VERY nice..i mean..ít's a more personal kind of relationship btw those "managers" n us...n YES...it's really some well known beverage rest. in HK...许留山（i think) anyone heard this name Before? supposedly rather famous in HK..wad..established in 1980s..wat 50 over lian suo dians..but they are startin the 1st one in singapore..which is where i'm going to work :)..n they went on n on telling us we are the first batch..so if we performed well, there's a chance for us to rise to become managers blah blah...but Eh...i ll work there permanently les...yes les..hahaha...but tt lady very nice:).. n told us abt HK...tt gals there are practically crazy over sliming down... and those slimming pills are EVERYWHERE...n she's taking too..at the age of near 50..hahha.. but shés going to be with us for only a few mths..she's just here to train us... qutie pro right? i mean just coming here to train waitress n waiters..wad yall think? haha.. but this also means tt once she left...i'm going to face quite a prob communciating with those managers...coz they are ALL fr HK..

ORH!! there's this guy..in charge of kitchen stuff...he looks like some 黑帮老大（or at least those left right hand man..) !!..i can imagine him taking a knife n lead all his 兄弟s n 杀！in 九龙 or 旺角^^lll..hahaaha!( find a chance i secretly take a pic of him n let yall c:P) but well...ren bu ke mao xiang..he turns out to be rather nice too..heehe...though his GUO YU is "private limited" haha... he will just go on n on in CAnto..n i would give him the h-U-H? look...hahahs...

CRIME -SCENE~~~!!hahaz..just trying out how to post photos..:P 

她的身体习惯地靠着我的肩膀。
隔着毛线衣，我可以感觉到她的气息，但是我很清楚，这并不代表什么。
我们的鞋底听不到脚步声，只有踩在枯叶时，才发出干燥的声响。

她的眼睛总有一种无处可去的透明感。她时不时没来由地凝视着我，总会让我感到一阵悲哀。

我习惯等她的电话。
昏暗的客厅里空无一人。
我坐在沉默的空间里，凝视着空气中漂浮的灰尘，努力地想看清自己。
每个人都在追逐着某人，我却不知道未来如何，我伸出手去，只摸到一片茫然的空气。。。

她生日那天下雨了。为她买的蛋糕在拥挤的电车上已经像罗马遗迹般崩溃。无论如何，我们还是插了二十根蜡烛，点了火柴，关了灯，毕竟她还是很感激我的。

她开了一瓶红葡萄酒，吃了蛋糕。

“二十岁了，有点好笑。”她说，趴在桌子上，轻轻地摇晃着，偶尔玻璃杯里会有冰块撞动杯壁的声音，两眼盯着前面细细长长的玻璃杯，仿佛那杯红葡萄酒的存在对她的一生，有着重要的影响似的。玻璃杯旁的烟灰缸里，还有无数个白色的烟蒂。

我按下唱机的电源，从抽屉里找出一支香烟，点上火，慢慢抽了一口。数十年前流行的爵士钢琴声便从扩音器里流泻出来。
天花板。扩音器。电唱机。以及录音带。
我的视线散漫地游荡着。

就这样，我们沉默地对坐着。

“太晚了，我该走了。”
“再联络吧。”

我准备起身。
她茫然地凝视我。
她的眼眶溢一出了眼泪，不到一秒钟便滚下脸颊，掉落在红葡萄酒里，融合了。
泪水一决堤，就无法停止。

我手足无措，伸出手，轻触她的肩。
她的身体微弱地颤抖，我几乎直觉地抱紧她。
她靠着我，无助地哭泣，呼出的热气合着眼泪濡湿了我的衣服。
她的手仿佛在寻找什么似的，在我的背上彷徨地摸索。
她的眼泪的冷，透过我每一寸肌肤。
我叹了口气。除了轻轻地抚她的头发，等待她停止哭泣，听着她感情的崩溃，我什么也做不了，简直就是一个四肢健全的废人。

她过度哭泣，累了，睡着了。脸上的淡妆显得苍白无力。

我把她扶到了床上。
衣服的胸口还湿冷着，仍可以闻到她的洗发水味道。

我看了看熟睡的她，从衣架上拿了大衣。她并不属于我。她是一块浮游的冰块，朝一个我一无所知的黑暗海水缓缓地前进。当我一瞬间有一种抓到她的幻觉时，她又飘远了。我假装不知道也骗不了自己，只有自嘲式地苦笑。 这种感觉就像风一样，没有轮廓，没有重量。我带不走。又不能把它结束，甚至无法将它收藏起来。

地板上散布着唱片。桌上剩下一半崩溃的蛋糕。

我走出房间，悄悄地关上了门。

《20 30 40》

走过一岁是件很容易的事。。但是不知道为什么。。心中有点心痛。。仿佛失去了最珍贵的东西。。昏黄的灯光照在冰冷的手上。。想起童年,不知所云的生活。。每天可以因为多吃了一些零食而兴奋。。过的好快。。没什么值得留恋的。。没有记忆。。昨天。。我好像还曾在小学校的水池旁用石头丢鱼。。今天看见那样的孩子。。我会笑。。笑过之后的苦涩,很难懂。。生活改变着我。。不愿意看见自己的改变。。不愿意发觉自己的改变。。转眼20年。。我过的好慢。。每天重复着生活。。前边是什么? 脚下是什么? 懂事时会认为大人好。。长大后不知道什么是好。。也许这也是简单的轮回。。失去了判断的能力。。思想在纠缠。。讨厌看见初升的太阳。。不愿意看见新生的婴孩。。眼前似乎只有墙壁。。不可依靠,不会倾倒。。

你说该去把我的玫瑰看好了。。免得阳光把它偷吃掉。。我不明白。。你却神秘的对我说。。有些事我不用知道。。只有在我习惯了黑暗后。。我才能习惯光明。。你转身就走。。以至于我的下一个问题还未出口。。就把黑暗留给了我 。。

I'm exceptionally artistic! Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.hahaha...i'm too bored..resort to doing such quizes haha..but the result is even more hilarious...artist?! ARTIST?!?!yes..i'm sure-_-