惨不忍睹的lep，用了最残忍的手段袭击我最脆弱的软穴。深陷山谷的滋味，与自负成了对比。
陈博士问我：“你发生了什么事？”。好明显的失望。
我不知道。不要问我。不知道。不知道。不知道。。
约翰，谢谢你，但是我实在无法勉强装着没事。对不起，撒了一个牵强的谎言。
有些东西，我输不起。放不下。排山倒海的挫败。
演了一天的默剧，真想用剃刀割下笑容。只想呆呆的看着世界倒下，有那种撕裂自己的冲动。懒得思考，也不想思考。。我知道。这只是一个小的挫败。。没办法，我是女人。只好仁凭不听话的心好放肆地滥放感情。失控了。不管天将降多少大任于斯人也。
 
我好想哭。
好想哭。
想哭。
哭。
 
 

haha..watched meangals..tt show's bimbotic man~..the MOST bimbotic show i've EVER watched!! haha..omg..tak bor leh tahan lah~~haha..but $6 50 for a good laugh is ok lah...hhaaha..lindsay lohan n all those gals are like how bItChY..-_-..not to forget how scheme they are(actually only lindsay lohan n another gal..de others no brain for scheming.)..there's this bimbo who is--WAH~ i BAI4 her! ppl play ball games use hands to catch the ball..she uses her breast to ding3 de ball away lah~ goodness!!! HAHAHAHA..tt's not the end, when someone screamed at her insulting her HOW STUPID she is..lindsay lohan tried(as a hao ren) to console her..but she give an 'innocnent' look..or rather DUMB look n say bimbotically "it's ok~ i'm stupid~:)"...DOTZzzzzz..n n N!!! the ONLY thing she's capable of is to do weather forecast using her breast!!diaoZzzzzzzz..-___-lll..WAHHHHHHHHH *faints*..wo3 da4 kai1 yan3 jie4~~~o_O..well..the nan zu jiao is SHUAI!!! i mean..charming~~^^.but den again..HE IS A BIG TIME HIMBO!! even worse man~haha..super no brain~urgh..this kind of guys arg..-_-lll..zhen de you ren xi huan leh...ok..tt explains the existance of BIMBOs rite?muahahaa..

haha..today's chen lao shi lesson (bu kui shi poet:D)was a huge improvement fr yu kapo's~~Oops...shhhhhhhh...haha..but at least i DIN fall asleep:PpPpPpp..but den again..i was BIG TIME BFX by him~~~hahaha..he is needed to xin1 my chou3 shi4~~:P..but haha..it was my fault lah..who ask me so lazy to think of storyline for TAI CONG MING..n just anyhow recycle a storyline~~..den changed the ending~~heeZ..but tiger say CANNOT..coz later the kao guan oso got read before den die~~~haha..oks..pt taken~:P..but den again..this shows that--wateva chou3 shi4s done by anyone of us~~the WHOLE lot of lep teachers ll know~~hahahahaa...beware BEWARE~~~:D..

洛水之神轻飘水上,似曾相似
悲感尘世间
流水行程
忘不了丝连着过往云烟
含泪回眸
一笑百媚为我生
七步千醉豆泣中
神光离合

叹
终是人神有别
幻影飘逝匆匆惊鸿一瞥
顾望怀愁
永绝
只见眼前青山
空妩媚

断笔之处
洛神之赋

世事烟飞云散
只留下几页绮丽古纸
几页散落在人间的罕为人知...

pls: thx a lot mel for all the help~:)

there's one thing i rly hate abt exams..rly cant understand y the hell they expect us to give the bunch of knowledge that we learn with only such minimal time?!?! wat the heck is this? wat's the pt of testing on our writting SPEED? so..am i suppose to write tt FAST in the future for wat eva reports in work? (we do have something call computers now..) or r they training us to be efficient secretaries(the only job i can associate to..)? so..EVERYONE's gonna be a secretary HOR?..ok..den TELL me n CONVINCE me wat the hell is the hidden purpose of..of forcing us to scribble until arm aches? tell me lah! exams are meant to test knowledge wat? does tt matter soOoo much to give us slightly more ample time to write n plan essays? i seriously don get he pt..come on..isn't it better for the markers or who ever so to get better quality scripts to mark n more legible handwrittings? wat's the pt of scribbling frantically n end of in hast when u actually still have SO much to write? WAH~~~~ it RLY does test ur studying of the subject or not leh...i'm SURe it rly DO test my knowledge..-_-..

stuuuuuuuuuuuupid...they are demanding us to write FAST, with NEAT handwrittings, n QUALITY work..HAHA..my toes r LAUGHING!..maybe the whoeva who come up with such insane criteria do some demo...

thank goodness yuzhe's most hated LEP paper's over..WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! kill me!!!! can someone pls do the world a favour by tearing the ultra stupid chao2 dono wat (is it pronounce as SUI4? *scratch head* ) zuan4.. i COMPLETELY left it out fr my last min lep revision!! T_T the feeling is so funny lah..can u imagine.. i finally came to the end of the paper--gu wen, n i realize i DON UNDERSTAND a blardie thing!! i don RMB studying tt one at all...to think xiya just reminded me the day before to study it..URGH~..rly is not he noes me i dono him...n i think i'm superb loh..manage to crap a TOTALLY out of pt translation for mei ling chen...hahaaha...i was laughing away while writing..btw..let me bet with u..mei ling is gonna share my brilliant 0/8 piece with the WHOLE lecture..trust me...i can foresee it in time to come..T_T..so nice ppl out dere..don laugh ok..yall r HAO RENs hor.(better por yall now~~:PPpppPP)

okies..anyway..as if i care lah..had my dinner at this niao3 bu4 sheng1 dan4 place at queenstown..aiyah..as ulu as u can imagine..it's under daylight yet i felt so eerie walking pass..T_T..but the food's DMAN nice..felt like a glutton..coz we order SOoOo many food..even the 3 uncles at the nxt time kept staring at us..HeEZ.they must be thinking: goodness..3 gals can eat SO much!! haha..Oops..paishe..but well,so we SHDn't discrimminate ulu places okies~ haha,a brilliant excuse to eat kopitiam food..thx a lot wen!!!^^but haiZ..i din manage to find any suitable shoes at queensway..as usual..all those cliche designes..actually i found this super cool nike spiderman(de web only..i don rly like spiderman tt much..) sneakers..it's my fav color combi..n it costs only $72 ard there!! but there's something wrong with the manufacturers..the biggest pair cant fit my feet( eh eh..mine's normal size ok~^^)when it's not rly for kids-_-..r they clever or r they clever?! haha..pretty sad..but oh well,it's okie..coz this COOL BUTCH attended me...OMG~ u can c my face~~..was mesmerized by her~~~~..rly is not realize tt i was practically staring at her all the time...Oops..:P..does tt *hint* anything? Oh no~~~hahaha..but she's rly cool..i mean..aiyah..dono how to put it..but i'm quite sure is those stella would like..(considering her taste)..saw a lot of butch at orchard...but she seems a little diff from others..maybe i shd go da shan~~:D..haha..i'm crazy~~haha..

anyway..as we were walking out of queensway..saw 3 construction workers carrying one hun1 mi2 bu4 xing3 worker n they were carrying in this way: the sicked one laying straight with one supporting his hand, another his body n another this leg..they just walked pass us in this awkward manner...n RLY give a SCARE out of my wits~ i mean..the 1st thought tt came to my mind was: is this man dead?..but heng he was not..XIA SI WO LE~~phew~..feel pretty sad for the guy..he must have worked very hard (too hard) to support his family back in china until he fainted..haiZ..poor guy..but there are sooo many such poor souls out dere trying to make ends meet, swollowing all the hardships n sorrows on their own..i dono..whenever i saw such ppl..i couln't help but feel this pain in me..coz i couldn't do anything to help them..hmm..haiZ..ji ren zi you tian xiang..*amituofou*..

okies..enough of updating my stupid life with all the liu2 shui3 zhang4s...shall slp now..(though the i'm still quite high over the butch..maybe she can keep me high over the nxt few days~~wahahaha...):D

perhaps i'm still pretty much in holiday mood on mon..but today, i'm SURE tt i'm back to sch, back to the traumatising International History lessons..urgh..

haha.maybe i shdn't have stoned n have the when-de-hell-it's-going-to-start look while others are desperately making last min hopeless struggles..maybe i shdn't wu2 gu4 act xiao1 sa3(but it's rly ptless wat..not as if i'm prepared but such last min thing will only make ppl more nervous coz the more u study the more u realize how much u forgot the more kangjiong u are..)..or maybe i shd have slept early last night so tt i wont have this i-m-still-slping-look..or at least i shd pretend to mug..or atually..i shd blame GAN ZHI WEI( n rly must walk pass the front door n came in fr the back door..-_-)for coming in exactly 5 mins before the paper n gave such a huge allowance of time for sally to rmb me..haha..anyway..all the tian1 shi2 di4 li3 ren2 he2 thingy..haiZ..
guess wat's the 1st thing my fav teacher said to me after such a loooooooooong hols?

"Yuzhe!"
"!--" *distonenalise*
"....huh?..." with a bu4 xiang2 de yu4 gan3 after i was able to get back to my senses n respond..but i don rmb doing anything..ermZ..dui4 bu4 qi3 sally S-O-F-A-R wad...T_T wat's this time again?
"why u never attend the last lesson?"
yuzhe stun dio for 5 secs..trying to trace back wat happended 30 days ago..
"ermZ..sorry i was sick...." *gek apologetic look*

biangZ..she always have to catch me unprepared n at times red handed..can u imagine..the 1st thing a teacher said to u after 30 days is not 'how's the hols' or ' did u study ur hist or not'(this is more likely) or something alone tt line lah..but interrogating u for not attending the last lesson say..30 days ago?!?!?! goodness~ CAN U IMAGINE?! *ku1 xiao4 bu4 de2*..hahahaa..haiZ..is she having too good a memory(den don waste spare me some lah..since i'm ur beloved student mah..) or it's just me? T_T..din rmb her asking others for their attendence wad...n my attendence is not bad okies..wo3 zi4 ren3 quite discipline(although cant compare with de class but compare to others..hahEz)..nv pon any lesson excluding maths lah..n thx cailing jinghan n kan for the sympathetic look..-_-..hahhaahaa...

orh wells..i've been thinking..maybe it's time for me to fa1 hui1 skills of a historian--dig out sally's history (yo yo~~ check it out! ^^)..haha..i mean..there must be a reason behind all these right? hahaa..i mean..s-c-u-l-l-y i look like her most hated daughter or wat..hahhahahaaa...hu noes rite? :D..there MUST be a reason behind everything~..ermZ..okies..heeheeZ..

How many of us lived by the principle You only live once, so do not live to regret? How many of us swore to keep to that golden principle and yet how many of us have failed time and again? The worst thing a person can say to him/herself is if only I.... What's the point in regreting and thinking back when all that is done is done? I can sit here and blabber non-stop about this philosophy. And then I suddenly realised I'm talking about myself.

I regret. About a lot of things. And yes. I have indeed taken to the fact that regreting never helps. At all. Yet, who could stop feeling sorry and blaming oneself for a stupid mistake. Recently, a mistake has been haunting me.once again, it has something to do with my, well, studies again.:(..i've been so controversial nowadays. knowing exactly wat As means, knowing precisely how hard i SHOULD be working, but there's just a voice inside me, urging me to ponder wat are the truly essential stuff in life... i figured that some things may seem like the world to me now but a few minutes later, or on retrospection, it seemed so trivial... like studies... no doubt it is essential, well, at least some of it is... but then again, how do we actually live our dreams in this day and age of coporations and high expectations? of desk jobs and mundane stuff? *shrug*..

but there's no time to waste wondering abt such things i guess..ok..so even i'm forcing myself to confront the piles of readings, i'm surpise tt, i don even noe wat i'm aiming for now or rather--wat i CAN aim for now. i'm definitely not going to get wat i dream of. it's hopelessly impossible, a darn cruel reality i abruptly come to realize today. future seems to offer only 2 routes, neither of my immediate interest. n tt's provided i CAN score well for As, it would pathetically left 1 route if i cmi--n i recken tt, tt would be the most likely outcome with the lazy n indolent attitude i'm presently having n the respective rate of progress.
but tell me..where exactly am i suppose to hunt for motivation when the source is painfully--out of reach?

if only i...urgh..not again....:(

ta ta!! just realize my last crappy post is the no 100th!! haha..oops..n i happily wasted it on such rubbish~haha...
oh anyway~~ jin1 tian1 xin1 qing2 hen3 piao4 liang4 wor^^. noe wat? i got to meet up with my childhood fren(in spore i mean..haha..i rly can rmb my frens in china leh)!!! n precisely coz of this..he is like extra precious :)..haiZ..who ask i'm an immigrant..but like tt oso enough le..wat more can i ask rite..i'm actually very grateful tt i got to have this fren(aka 'brother' haha)...fr china too(he came later den me)..n managed to clique so well~~:)

it's like..we rly grew up together..i still remember he lived on floor 3 while me on floor 8.. i was 9 while he was 5..but i was still in p2 coz the well..sort of 'retained' coz of my eng..the principle just ASUMED tt i cant make it for eng n din bother to give me a chance just coz i was fr china..haiZ..if not i won be with this batch..would be the lucky batch tt escaped SOCIAL STUDIES n PW!! haiZ..but tt's not the pt..wat really hurts me was that i was looked down upon by so many adults simply because i was fr the "backward n cheena china".. n actually a lot of schs din even wana enrol me..so i was indeed grateful to get a placing in tt sch..sometimes..must learn to zhi1 zu2..rmb there's one principle(i shall not name the sch..)who said " u chinese ppl are of no match to our spore children" n tt's like how INSULTING..it rly left a huge impact on me..slap in my face..hate the air of superiority when he's so inferior in my eyes..but haiZ..nv like to tell anyone abt my past..but dono y i'm pening it down oso..memories are just beyond our control..but we have digressed..it's a happy occasion today..shall not let such memories affect my emotions~~*shake my head vigorously*..shoo shoo..

k..where was i? oh..we were rly close tt time..haha..its like..i think i spent more time at his house playing den mine~~haha..not tt i have a picky mother who doesn't like to pick up toys after us..but coz his house got this 'mini' snack cabinet~~~ haha..tt ermZ..explains me patroning his house so often yah?~*evil grinZ*~:P..we did so many things together..playing all sorts of chess..tiao4 qi2..xiang4 qi2..badminton..though i always won lah:P..n we each secretly went back to hone our skills before the nxt match~~haha..but liang xing jing zheng wor~^^..even did stupid things like tasting alcohol secretly..n me FORCINg comics onto him~~haha..ORH~ even rmb he was damn scared of water..n he even cried when he was forced (by us-me n his family~)into the pool..shivering~~hahahahha..but finally managed to overcome his phobia~^^V..but we have lost contact for a really long time..ever since my family moved to bukit batok~during p5..though our familys were initially still rather close n we still went swimming quite often together..den went out for dinner..EH~ come to think abt it..it's always ME n his family..wat was my parents doing arh??o_O~hahaha....but after he too moved to dono where..we lost contact..for 5 yrs..n i nv dream of seeing him again..haha..but now..:)..n he changed so much~~haha..he was so short the other time~~ but now much taller den me..n guess wat..he's in TCHS~~haha..he changed more den i do..tt might explains y i nv notice him in tchs~( if we ever met each other lah~~haha..)..but unexpectly quite shuai wor~~^^haha..
but come to think of it..how come all those whom i noe since young..all went to tchs~
-____-lll...hhaaa..kidding~:P

at 1st we were quite gan ga..pls lor..5 yrs are a pretty long time kZ..but he even more paiseh den me..but hen3 kuai4 jiu4 hao3 le~~haha...bi4 jing4 we were 'hao ger men'~heeZ..:)

eh..suddenly rmb something very gek..thia saw EDISON at the airport the other day!!!! OMG loh~~~~ cmon~~edison leh~~ WEI HE such chances nv fall on me!!!!!! wei HE~~~~T_T..someone pLeAsE enlighten me!!..hmph~..i was nearly abt to declare tt anyone who can grant me the wish to get a close up look at Eddie( in person)---i ll marry him~~(hope wont be a her den~i'm straight~hahah..)..errr okies..tt's like how lame~..but it's ok~i'm crazy~haha..n thia rly is needed to add salt n MORE salt onto my wound by criticizing how SHORT he is..n tt he looks a little fat..THX LEH!!! hahahaah..okie lah..edison isn't in any sense-tall..but not actuall short wat~..haha..ppl at least is 176(or 8)okies..n he isn't fat~~haha..but anyway..tt's not the pt though..not as if i like him coz of his weight n height~haha..orh..btw..thia( as a non fan of Eddie) commented tt he's indeed shuai~~~without make up~^^...i mean..tt's like D-U-H?! it's MY taste wat..^^V..oh pls..his features r PERFECT(haha..at least this pt is ermZ..unrefutable rite?:P)..

anyway..just realize tt this post is pretty rubbish..but hu cares? i'm high~y am i so high today? perhaps coz xiya's back..n stella's going to be back soon~ yeah~ or maybe oso coz..i finally got the chance to sneak online n chat~..parents sound asleep now~*heard a c-r-e-e-k fr the door*!!*JUMPS* *look ard hastly*...-whisper- sHhhhhhh..don make so much noises if u hope to c yuzhe online okies? :P..*xin1 xu* i better go now..haha..:P

[对白‧刘若英]

[面对未來聪明不起來]

一年多过去了，这一年多以來，我自己变了。不可知的未來，让我感到害怕了，在我一步步迈 向二十岁的的时候。我在害怕些什么？我自己也不知道。
我变了。

[我只是不懂这一切应不应該]

我不再是我自己，我找不回那个不在乎別人对我的看法的自己，也回不到那个看了不爽，即使是老師也一样呛下去的宇哲。

我开始在乎了，在乎这周遭的一切。于是，也开始害怕失去，害怕失去这现有的一切。因为在乎，于是我再次帶上了面具，在别人的面前，我不再是我，我成了坟墓，无助地目睹自己慢慢离去。
我真的不知道，原來的我到了哪，我开始怀疑，这一切的一切，是否真的就像刘若英在歌声中所唱的。

[幸福的期待，自己也都看不出來]

因为开始在乎，于是也开始期待幸福，期待自己不应得，也无法承受的幸福。
即便自己知道，幸福也许就在眼前，我仍不敢放手，我仍在害怕，害怕这个不一样的自己。
因为我已经分不清。

[就让风吹过空白脑海]

窗外仍然下着毛毛細雨，风应该是冷的，但我感觉不出。靜靜地吹着风，脑中，除了慌，是一片空白。
酒？我沒喝酒，我还清醒的很。也许，当心冷了之后，就再也感受不到风的冷了。
听人們說，这世上有一件事叫做酒后吐真言。是否，哪一天我该试试？于是逼自己听听我内心深处的秘密。

[爱你是我这一生給你的对白]

是的，我不爱你，你的瑕疵我比谁都清楚，只不过是对你有很些眷恋罢了。
只是仍有想要回味你在我身旁的幸福。
说我自恋又怎样？

[剧情背景怎么換也一句不改]

于是，在祈求老天让我重活一次时，只要能找回你，即使是支离破碎。

[如果你不來]

你不会來的，我心中明白得很。因为，因为已经来不及了。

[对白，只是独白]

所以，这一切，注定只会是我的喃喃自语的独白。

長大是一段過濾夢想的旅程，我回想到了十三歲時的氣慨激昂，那些幻想，那些狂想，人生中最美麗的莫過於擁有著千萬種可能性，而活到此刻，局面像是逐漸凝結的石膏，輪廓慢慢變得清晰，清晰也是好的，只是又帶著淡淡的心酸。
只要一想到，不管在任何一方面，這輩子我都已經不可能成為萬世巨星。

--《燕子》

ahhhhhh!

today's a good day to buy 4D!why? cos i escaped a fire unharmed~~!!!let me elaborate.

was at my Dad's office bathing after swimming. after i came out, and went back in, i heard crackling sounds (like those you hear during a campfire?). yea. then suddenly, BOOM! the air-con compressor exploded (mini one) and burst into flames. everything on fire la(like tt time Lep room speaker liddat..but bigger scale lahZ)... ran out like mad..xia4 si3 wo3 le~~:S. luckily no one was hurt. just lots and lots of smoke cos come funny people from the next door unit happily stacked rubber stuff and wooden boxes(!!..ta men zhen de hen cong ming lohZ..dono wat's wooden boxes doing down dere in science park -_-) beside the compressor. four charred compressor units. what an experience~~~..T_T

anw, the fire incident has actually shown and proved further how selfish Singaporeans can be!! when my dad and the people next door were yelling desperately for more fire extinguishers, the other people from the other units were actually reluctant to lend theirs! (they were hugging the damn extinguisher and trying to hide from them..) how selfish is that? oh~~ so you'd rather burn, than pay a few dollars to get the fire extinguisher refilled..wat is this?? really is not thanx..

Orh~~on a lighter note...something funny happened too..hahaha.. okieZ..embarrassing, more likely :P

was at the bookshop, and suddenly i heard a phone ringing..one of those sUpEr cheena ring tones that'll make you go o_O the minute you hear it~~~and i was like..thinking to myself: god. who on earth still uses that kinda ringtone. heng it's not mine~ AND after i walked out, i realized it was mine!!! biAngZ..slap in the face aeii..T_T..den i realized i switched phones with mom today, and didnt bother to go change the tone.. god knows why she was using that kind of ringtone~~~ *stab myself*... thank god i don't frequent that bookshop :|...hahaha..okies..i think my life's becoming more n more like a joke~..a bit the ku xiao bu de..^^lll..hahaha..but on a positive note~ it's eXcItInG~ loh~~..not everyone get de chance to have such a wonderful life full of funny surprises can~~haha...okies..zuo4 ren2 must noe how to zi4 wo3 an1 wei4~ heeheeZ^^..

this morning didn't go quite well. I jumped out of bed...for no apparent reason. As in, just woke up suddenly those kind. And i guess that made me super sleepy towards the later part of the morning. I really couldn't concentrate at all and my head seemed to be strongly attracted to my study table.

anyway...i finally had my math goddess to come enlighten me over pNc and probability. ARgh i hate those 2 chapters. I mean, seriously...do i look like i care about the probablity of one red or black ball being chosen? Or or.. how many ways u can arrange a couple on a round table? aiya...just sit la! haiyoh...why must still arrange..

anywayZ..after 4 days of this week passed, i've got to admit that i'm an unrealistic and overly-ambitious idiot. My holiday study program has been absolute rubbish. it went wrong the moment it began. which was a secondary part of the plan, for it to go wrong. hence everything is going perfectly according to plan..haha..:D..lets c..this week began as a whole new chapter with no more SATs n any other committments..^^V i'd write a "Priority List" or "Things to do" and proudly jots down at least 5 things i think i can complete before i get to sleep. Yet, i find myself idling after lunch, taking a generous amount of nap time and by the time i set to work, it's almost the same as the time i sit down to study after say..those huang cheng days. Then, i'll realize that out of the 5 things i think was easy to complete, i ended up striking out only 1 of it, completed. The rest of the 4 tasks would then automatically move down and accumulate to the next day's "Things to do" . Sighh...

i watched harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban yesterday MYSELF( all thanx to wr de pig n yun~ haha..:P)and it was quite a disappointment:S. except for the saving grace that is the british-accented emma watson, who will be an even hotter girl than she is now given, say, 3 years!!^^ haha..okies..u noe i DO like to look out for chiobus~:P..but i dono..it's just izzit as nice as the others..n i really cant stand sirus..i mean the one in the movie..for the same old reason tt de director kinda chou hua him~ HMPH~...i always think tt sirus's great esp in the Order of the Phoenix..haha..aha~ i do admit i prefer a little rebellious charat.:P..oh yeah, speaking of the movie itself..i could do a review in three words: read the book.

haiZ..I'm begining to dread being home. Don't get me wrong, i love my home and family..but somehow i think there's a communication gap between my parents and i. All they care about is my work, school, academic, studies. It's becoming more apparent when their questions in the day gets more and more standard, revolving around " when r u going to start working on ur As? r u INTENDING to get the scholarships or not? XXX was like u last yr n scored badly..There's izzitnt much time left. Are u coping with ur work? Do u have a goal in life? there's no chance for regret..blah. " Other than that, the rest of my life is kept locked in myself. And like.. obviously when such questions are thrown to you, it's only right that you say everything's fine right? n when i retaliate by asking them is there ANY other things u wanna know abt me other den studies..they went: wat do u wan me to ask? Tt's just wat i wan to noe..just like after As i ll be more interested in ur WORk n relationships.

dotZ...

hAhA~~ cant imagine someone actually send this to my mail~~ helLo~ i'm fr wei da de ARTS fac. oKieZ~muahah..but well..as a qin fen hao xue de xue sheng~~( stoppp puking lehZ..:P)i realize i still manage to rmb 50% of Sec Chem(though it's vanishing FAST :D): tt an atom is made up of electrons, protons, n neutronS~..cations n anions~..eh~ at least i noe carbon forms the STRONGEST bond okies^^(izzit tetrahedral bonding arh?)..n AHA~ titration~~how can i every forget tt~~..kinda MISS it wor^^(like real) all the changing of colors~haha..

Subject: Chemistry at work
> > >> >
> > >> > > 1. What did one atom tell another?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > I think I lost an electron
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Are you sure?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Yes, I'm positive.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 2. A small piece of sodium which lived in a testube
> > >> > > fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame!
> > >> > > I melt whenever I see you" said the sodium. The bunsen
> > >> > > burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going
> > >> > > through".
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 4. A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender:
> > >> > > " How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and
> > >> > > says: "For you, it's no charge".
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 5. Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Because it was polar.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 6. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > A one molar solution.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 7. What do dipoles say in passing?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Have you got a moment?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 8. Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Because it's in the ground state.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 9. What do you do with a dead chemist?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Barium
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 10. What weapon can you make from the elements
> > >> > > potassium, nickel, Iodine and iron?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > A KNIFe.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 11. Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > They're cheaper than day rates.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 13. What did one titration tell the other?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Let's meet at the endpoint.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 14. Why are chemists great for solving problems?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > They have all the solutions.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 15. Do you know what happened to the chemist who was
> > >> > > reading a book about Helium?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > He just couldn't put it down.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 17. Why do chemistry professors like to teach about
> > >> > > ammonia?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Because it's basic stuff.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 18. What is a cation afraid of?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > A dogion
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 19. What did the match tell the flame?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Baby, you make me lose my head.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 22. Why did the ice cube get divorced?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > His wife said he was too cold.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 23. Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > They bonded well from the minute they met.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 24. What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Methylated spirits.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 25. If H20 is water what is H204?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 26. A psychotic chemist came home from work and had a
> > >> > > big fight with his wife. In the heat of the moment, he
> > >> > > grabbed a bottle of some lethal chemical substance and
> > >> > > forced her to drink it while he screamed: " Die Ethyl,
> > >> > > die". The wife dropped dead on the floor and the
> > >> > > neighbors who were watching the scene, decided to call
> > >> > > the police. The policemen arrived and arrested the
> > >> > > chemist. One of them asked: Was there any reason for
> > >> > > you to kill your wife? The chemist replied: " There
> > >> > > was no chemistry between us. We never bonded well
> > >> > > although we tried.In the compound where we lived, our
> > >> > > temperaments collided. She always responded negatively
> > >> > > to my comments. Our relationship was unstable. There
> > >> > > was no possible solution. She had an attitude and I
> > >> > > was explosive. Finally, I overreacted. But now I'm
> > >> > > glad it's over. I'm in equilibrium again.I will feel
> > >> > > free even behind the irons."
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 27. A group of organic molecules were having a party,
> > >> > > when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole
> > >> > > all of the guests joules.A tall, strong man, armed
> > >> > > with a machine gun came into the room and killed the
> > >> > > robbers one by one.The guests were very grateful to
> > >> > > this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He
> > >> > > replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > 28. According to a chemist, why is the world so
> > >> > > diverse?
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

hahaa..had a good laugh at 70% of the jokes..:)

haiZ..i'm damn shang xin(a perfact eg of exaggeration :P) yesterday sia..i so jaded-ly wrote a whole chunk of After-SAT n Invest-gan yans^^ n tried to post it last midnight..the page told me there was ERROR!!! n GONE was my post!!! URGH! damn!! dui arh dui..pekchey arh pekchey..gek arh gek!! but den..i was toooo tired to try to reiterate..

okies..as i was saying yesterday..it had been a happy day(if not for the post thingy~~) haha..the SAT suck like dono wat..3.5hrs leh~~ cannot pray pray loh..rly is not kena niao by kan n kianwee of my super jAdEd o_O look..cant help it..haha..dey all finished their lunch already..while left me to eat LJS's with 6 ppl staring at me..haha n i was so surfeited tt i even got serious parallex error n grabbed Kan's drink..haha..but heng i realize n DIN drink..n i was secretly praying tt KAN nv realize..BUT i still BFX..n yah..a very heartfelt 'thanks' for their uproarious laughter -_-lll...haha..but NVM~ i'm a HAo rEn~~ i wont ji jiao ^^V~~ hahas~~..

okie..1st i wanna complain sia..XIYA!!! ur SAT bk rly is not heavy leh~~..make me carry all the way fr PS to BUGIS with all the shopping n all de da bao xiao baoS of presents for bi bao~~ biangZ..so very super ah soh~T_T..don have xing xiang liao lah~~haha..but anyway..must thx u for de yan zhi kou! OMG~~ is it nice or is it nice!? li bi hua is so damn zai..Kz..i'm going to read more of her chuang zuos! yeah!^^ feel like watching the movie leh..i always missed it when CH 8 screens it..how arh?think Kan ll have it..hah..okies.i'm going to BUG him until he agrees to lend me~ *evil grinZ*..better come up with a conspiracy nowZ~~haha..needed -_-lll..

updates abt bao bao 25..i was SO touched by my dearest xiao bao yao long..noe wat he gave me? a star-shaped glass candle holder with candle inside of course :) n it's like placed in this nice little box admist of dry petals..nice rite? tt's not de end..he even sewed a pouch for me himself..note..H-I-M-S-E-L-F! albeit it might just seems to be a piece of brown fabric sewed tgd for most of u(man..he can do better stitches den me~haha..:P) but boy..just look at the amt of effort he put in! i mean..a guy sewing something leh~~~~ i'm simply so touched tt i'm just...just...speechless..wat can i say man..*hao gan dongs~*..*cries*..

updates abt bao bao 23..my dearest da bao DIYI!! goddness! she got into the 2nd round of Singapore Idol~ Can u guys believe it?! haha..but come to think of it..isn't it eXpECtEd? come on..DIYA leh..getting in is like--DUH? rite? she's so zAi n fUnKy~ it has been ages since i last seen her..haha..she still as fine n chiRpy as usual~haha..DIYA JIA YOU!! i'm behind u aLl de WAY~~~but come to think abt it..diya's fr s66 rite? aiyo..how come a bit the yi dai bu yi dai arh???? muahaha..now even produce bi bi like JJ who liang2 xing4 tong1 sha1!! luan4 gao3 BBR with my bao bao?!?! muahaha..but it's okie..since they r all my dear bi bao juniors..haha..

as u all saw..the blogger of this blog is not blogging n some of u may start questioning urself secretly "is yuzhe's blog dead?..or even betta..is yuzhe dead?" :D..but before yall start celebrating..i'm still here..tooo bad..muahaha..ok lame..cant blame..tt's the prob when u are stuck at home for days with eating n slping n continuing eating n slping (damn..horizontal growth rate:1 inch/day i think..oh dear..hahaZ)..but i cant go out!! the only place i went was de shu zhan..k..not as if i'm under curfew or wat but it izznt much betta either..

ok..let's c wat's happening behind the door of blk 257 #12/329..
morning:
tiptoed to the sofa to get a candestine pEeP at the papers...
but DEN~~
"ni3 xing1 qi2 6 bu2 shi4 you3 shen3 me3 mei3 guo3 de kao3 shi4 ma? hai2 bu2 kuai4 qu4 du2?"**

take out de stupid red sat bk..(but end up listening to mp3..while pretending to be studious..)

afternoon:
managed to sneak out of my room n took a 20min glance at KANG XI DI GUO vcd dey r watching..^^..BUT after 20 mins..gan3 dao4 1 dao already FA XIAN wo de yan sheng..

** repeats.

ok..end up shuned back to my room dear room again with the stupid bk..but this time ended up drawing..u noe..i ll only draw when i'm darn bOrEd..haiZ..den rE-READ Prince of Tennis~~woOhOO~~ thx ah lee for the comics..my saviour~^^( ok at least mom is TRUSTING enough nv to won pop by to give my fragile n brittle heart any unNeceSsaRy fright~ muahaha..)

night:
daddy came back..liang kou zi start to xian2 hua4 jia1 chang2 here a bit dere a bit..of course cannot let go this Opportunity to go online when their alerting system is the weakest!! but ended up BFX once again within 30 mins..

** repeats (mom)
** repeats (dad)

ok..back to the bk..with some ReAL studying (finally)..when i say real..i mean REALLY some studying ok~~ haha..not the kianwee style of ZHEN DE..:P

late of niiiittgggghhtttt..
*switch off lights* tiptoed to the living room..turn on TV..mute it..watch 10 zi lu kou in complete darkness..
"ma~~~ jie3 zai4 kan4 dian4 shi4~~~~~"--dearest of my deAreSt bro.
but needless to say...wo you BFX le..T_T..

"zhe4 me3 wan3 le..kuai4 dian3 qu4 shui4 jiao4..bu4 ran2 ming2 tian1 nar3 you3 jing1 shen2 zuo4 shi4?"

...fine..my family consists of a whole bunch of sChEmErs~~~..dey r violating UN Universal Declaratino of Human Rights no 24: Everyone has the right to REST, LEISURE, limted WORKING HRS, and PERIODIC HOLS n pay( this 1 not rly relevant :P)..
but it's OKIE~~ i ll pull thru~~~~~muahahaahha..

if u sing bad..n feel demoralised by wat pple say abt u..man..u ought to listen to william hung's cd "inspiration"..not tt i bought tt junky cd..but rather being a typical singaporean( haha..not quite though..:P)..i dl it..with lots n lots of remixes..bwahahaha..n i don feel bad..dunno y..maybe i'm just sadist n cynical..haha..but wat to do?:D

was on the bus today when i rmb these mp3s..den i just played it for myself to hear..and i couldnt help but burst out laughing..my fren was sitting beside me n she was like "hey yuzhe siao or wat.." in btw fits of laughter..i explained it to her..she din believe till she heard the mp3..n she TOO laughed SOOO~~ loud..everyone was staring at her n me..Oops..hahas..

tt cd..if given a rating..out of 5 stars..maybe i shd be generous n give it -5..but well..the humour is tremendous...so i shd give it -4..btw the album shd not be titled inspiration..coz all the songs belong to someone..lyke..Hotel California belongs to Eagles(i think)..darn ironic sia~ hahEz..:P

so i was clearing my comp todae...all my thousand-year-old files...oh wells yea...at least i've got my mp3 files sorted out :) and i realised..yuzhe's most dl grp/singer....-still- linkin park n jay man...hahaz
yarh remember my mum... telling me to go 'get my life in order' by packing my room....i mean...is the state of your room a direct parallel of the state of ur life? an apt metaphor to describe my current state of life?...n the prob is my room is NV by any means in any mess..it's just happened tt i have sooooooo many sheet/s of paper all piled up rather clumsyly on my desk( tt's the prob when dey refuse to have textbks) tt i end up in this pathetic state of doing my hw on the dining table..
but we digress u c....as i was about to delete some of my many hist essays n some managed-to-gou qie for 1 yr PW files...yes...stupid hist essays n PROJECT WORK (not piao wu..:p)...i suddenly....she bu de...as in canot bear to...i couldnt bear to delete dem....den i was wondering...wad the hell.it's hisT n PW....but yarh..den again...all my hardwork...flushed down the drain just like that...amazing...i just couldnt bring myself to do it...den my fren said aptly..."gal..must learn to let go"...yes it's true...i remember the last time i cleared my inbox of all those messages good and bad..u'noe those u want to remember cuz it's special and everything...i just deleted it all in a flurry..not a pre-meditated decision but rather one of emotional folly...but hey, must i say..i felt so good after i deleted it...felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted off my back...like i was free.....free from the clutches of my memories...
yes...that's wad it is...memories....yarh..i think..we all want to remember...we all want to have something to remind us of the better (? maybe...) times we had back then..to allow us to go back to their comfort in times of distress...and well yea..handphone messages give us de luxury....even if we dont look at our old messages...they do serve to remind us becuase...well, they're always there...they're like pictures...which reminds me...i dun have a camera of my own...partly coz i don't like taking pictures..but also i believe that pictures...are taken for memory...or rather...to help us remember of some wonderful time that we have...and silly me, at that time thot that if the memory was meant to be remembered...it would b remembered without the help of a picture..haha how idealistic of me.....y den would ppl write poems...draw pictures...film movies....or even blog?! y den am i blogging??!?...it is because i want to preserve this memory of this thought that i thought...it is because the writers want to remember their wise words...the painters want to remember their colourful imagination....oh wells...im getting damn luo suo :P
but what i was talking about is....yarh....the handphone thing...sometimes...clinging on to the beautiful past...prevents us from looking to the future...
aiyahz.....so yarh..bout those files.....why the hell am i still keeping them?...i'm afraid...that subconsciously i'm afraid that i would not be able to write better than i had before...i mean..after all..it's handed in to the teacher and graded liao..there's no use of keeping it...sure...the thing im telling myself now is that...all my hardwork disappear just like that?...or even maybe cuz it's a specially good piece that i would like to keep or wadeva...but the fact is that...oh wells...i dunno what reasons are holding me back from deleting them...haiZ..

一个莫名其妙的下午。
　　莫名其妙的感动积压在胸里，发泄不出来。
　　想写点什么，却又不知道要写什么。

　　——请你驯养我吧。
　　狐狸这样对小王子说着。

　　并不是一个有趣的游戏。
　　关了电脑，去打电话。
　　“读过小王子和狐狸的故事吗？”
　　“没有。”
　　“……”

　　说着，自己是非常的奇怪。
　　但是……
　　没什么不一样吧……
　　说着那样的借口……其实是为了……

　　“……你的头发是金色的。假若你驯养了我，我也会爱上麦田的颜色。那是多么美妙的事情啊。”

　　寂寞？

　　“说这样的话，说什么喜欢，你觉得不奇怪？”
　　“不啊……”
　　是很久以前的对话了呢。

　　不想写作业。
　　时间过得好快又好慢。
　　奇怪吗？
　　不奇怪吗？？
　　微笑。

　　“我得走了。”
　　小王子对狐狸说着，“最终，你还是什么也没得到吧。”
　　“不，”狐狸摇头，
　　“我还有麦田的颜色。”

　　说着“喜欢”，很奇怪吗？
　　是担心啊。
　　并不是想说就可以说的时候……

　　很久以前。
　　不，也不太久……
　　想跟他讲一句话，但一直也没有。
　　直到他走了。

　　所以，下了决心。

　　请你，驯养我吧。


　　寂寞？

　　雨……
　　阴天……
　　下雨的季节……
　　听雨……

　　也许是真的很奇怪。
　　同样的雨天。

　　是希望，能够……
　　比较特别一点。

　　喜欢？不喜欢？

　　并不是那样。
　　是希望抓住，特别的东西吧。
　　在变化中……
　　能够有不变的东西。

　　所以，请你驯养我吧。:)

糟糕。。我又再说些有的没的了。。

HEY HEY~~~~ i'm in LEP room now WoR~^^..n i'm FORCED to write a post to entertain ANCHYI~~(anchyi:excuse moi...)..OOps..wo you bei fa xian le ^^lll..hahEZ..i've just written 3 lines of rubbish..ANCHYI u stop laughing~~ hmph~ don think i dono ur CHOU SHIs okies~~dono WHO hor say " malai i thought u r zhiping.." MUAHAHAHA...den justin leh? u tot he is zhile right??? :D..ok ok u don PEEP lehZ..it's illegal..u later den c lahZ..:P
heard tt the oDd couple's superb~ hahas..den i'm expecting a lot tonight :) MEL u jia you wor~~ lalalala..aiyah shit..guo hong chasing everyone out of the room liaoZ..later den continue my crapppppppp..:P

我死时 便是自由的 割舍或离弃 死去或消散
那些日子不可追寻 那些脸庞已难以辨认 我已听不见 看不见
从寂寞走向寂寞 从黄昏走向黄昏 在大痴或大悟的尽头
在落日里静静睡去 没有幻想 无所羁绊
不知道 这是瞬间的还是永恒的 灭绝的还是轮回的
月升时 地平线下 我的骨殖是一柄锈蚀的匕首 还在锈蚀 不停地锈蚀
我却是自由的 不管有没有灵魂

像风一样吹过

耳边的风在另一个世界里喧嚣，静寂的夜可以感觉到有轻盈的音符在舞蹈。我把头探出窗外，想要寻找一些并不是寒冷的感觉，一种只有在寂静和轻盈之中才会有的宁静和心灵的放松。

我知道也许在另一个世界里或是在不远的未来会有一个人喜欢和我一同趴在窗口吹风，在这寂静的夜中留下阵阵悦心的欢笑。

一个人坐在阳台上看着如漫天繁星的万家灯火，古怪的思绪在晚风中悠闲地飘浮着，突然想打一个电话，一个很久以前无数次拨打过的电话号码。可拿起的瞬间又放下了，必竟在这样的一个夜里，悠闲的只是我自己。五年前，曾想过创办一个网站，就如同现在的榕树下一样。可建网站容易，感悟人生中的苦辣酸甜，抒发自己真挚的人生感悟难，毕竟自己还很年轻，毕竟还有好多好多的路要自己去走，必竟还得面对一个不像自己的自己，去改变他，让他拥有理想中的人生。

别人的路是如何走的呢？想到中学一位很AP的女生上课时不断吹自己的头发，她说喜欢那种飘逸的感觉；想到小学和我同桌的几个好哥儿们，想到每次跟我拌嘴的淘气小男生，想到幼时曾经和我一起爬树的伙伴。

很晚了，机子里放着那张BANDARI的EI Condor Pass.那是我喜欢的一张专辑。我贪婪地聆听着那来自阿尔卑斯山的天籁之声，Sound of silence中那原始森林的鸟鸣，会使人如身临其境。不管你有没有试过，一个人在家的时候，享受这些美妙的音乐会别有一番情趣。

嗯，很晚了，我应当抱着我的牙刷睡觉去了。不然明天的UN talk、、、啊>........

平凡的一天结束了。

haha..a pretty long break fr blogger huh~..haiZ..dono y..just have nothing much to update..my ideas r running out..losing the touch of writing.URGH. maybe saturation pt reached? hmm..:S..oh well.it's nearly coming to the END of term 2!! i mean..though it seem as if MAY has just started or wat but HEY!! face it! 2 more wks to go before JUNE HOLS!! or rather the gate towards an endless struggle for the pathetic As~..OMG..come to think of it..wat have i done for the past 4..no 5 MTHS?!?!?! Huang Cheng was the ONLY presentable achievement..NOT pathetic ley..haIZ..have been slacking like nobody's business while everyone seem much in the ready-for-bitter-battle mode?!?! looking at KAN makes me ermZ..a little uneasy..he's so PIA!!!starting to revise history already..haha..while i'm still struggling with assignments n deadlines..urgh. i can foresee my doom days if i'm NOT going to get into the zhuang tai soon..n de whole bloody pt it i JUST CANT GET INTO THE ZHUANG TAI!!*shouts n screams*...URH!!!! FEELING LIKE A STUPID LOSER!! BLEAH!

ok. i'm just irritated by my irritating slacking attitude.:S

很羡慕那些会说，会交朋友的人，走到哪里也不会寂寞，总是能很快和周围的人打成一片，而且在公众的场合总是左右逢源，引人注目。

也许天生性格如此，我就不会那么热络人，女生在一起，最喜欢谈论偶像，这些话题最能引起共鸣了，可是有时候，我想不出这有什么可谈的，所以 我经常都是安静地看她们热烈地聊天。其实，我很喜欢那些天性热情的人的，自己也被这样的人吸引，把自己的热情传播开来，让大家心里都暖洋洋的，这样的人怎么会不让人喜欢呢。

我不喜欢淡漠，但是我更不喜欢虚伪，要我违心地对一个人热情，我也做不到，南中的几个要好朋友，不是经常见面，但是友谊却日久情深，只要偶尔想起，心中仍然温柔。只要有什么心事，最想让她们分担，所以，我不孤独。信奉一句话：人生得一知己，足矣。

对于感情，别人看来，我也很冷淡，我不是轻易容易被打动的人，也不会很早下结论，自然最好，自己知道，就象暖水瓶，外表是凉的，内心却很温暖。:)

sianZ..chiong until so pekchey for hist den in the end overslept!!!! i DUI DUI DUi..actually wan to go for su lao shi lesson lah..miss his lesson qutie a lot :) but hiyah..ok..i'm just lazy to move..a bit the dui bu qi xiya leh..coz js oso not in sch..Oops..but the rest of the lessons fei loh. i mean maths still ok but mei ling chen shi bo leh?!?!?! so decided not to go until election lah..my mom oso psychoing me not to~heeZ..